Why my cock attracts idiots

Some of you poets might be asking yourselves...how in the hell does Jeremi attract so many idiots to his cock? (current girlfriend excluded because she's special like Mary) Answer? Pure fucking bad luck and skill.. see..it's like trolling for striper...you have to be patient.. First, i drop ten hits of acid. Second, i get naked on a freeway over pass. Third, i flex my ass, and my mind. Fourth, i enjoy the sounds of the twenty car pile up Fifth, Pick the ones that come and see if i'm alright.. ha ha. All of you 'thinking' peers of mine... you have my permission to burn my cock at the stake..preferably.. as soon as possible. Before more come and we're forced to figure out what exactly went wrong with the development of my butt muscles and penis.. thank you for your time and attention to this most perplexing of spiritual conditions i need a PRIEST and apparently a good long range electric cattle prod.