Re: [Untitled] by Sirena_Feroz	7-Sep-02/7:58 PM
A read this very slowly and carefully. I still don't understand it, I enjoyed it quite a bit. The sudden appearance and disappearance of the Dr. bothers me, but that's because I'm old, and I like structure.
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Sep-02/9:06 AM
I don't understand what this has to do with your title. There seems to be no meaning here. Or is that the point?
Re: Instance of Twinning by Wulf	8-Sep-02/9:13 AM
I have read some of you other poems, but they hoonestly did not impress. This, on the other hand, is quite intreging. I like being made unconfortable by artists. this does the trick. The actual writing is awkward in several places. The 1st line of the 2nd stanza for example. I am particularly fond of the final stanza.
Re: Mean Matt was so mean, when a homeless guy asked him for change he gave him a -blank- by beakism	8-Sep-02/9:29 AM
This is obviously a hate-filled flashlight. There is no light emitted from it, because hate has old used up batteries. Only love has the fresh new batteries needed to eluminate the world. Mean people, like Matt, get aggrevated because there flashlights don't work. They turn these hopeless flashlights, these "flashlights of hate" on their fellow man and beat them with it til they die. beakism, you are truly a philospher-poet.
Re: Johnny Nasty by peotaster	8-Sep-02/9:43 AM
Why is it 98% of the submissions to this site contain no poetry. This is an observation written down in a purely unpoetic manner. WHERES THE FUCKING POETRY!!! There is more poetry in this homeless guys unwashed underwear then there is in your poorly chosen words.
Re: BEAKBOY, A Tale Of Suffering by beakism	8-Sep-02/10:44 PM
Hurrah! Well written, well executed.
Re: Flame by Rlee	8-Sep-02/11:17 PM
O.k. please explain to me how you made the judgement call on this thing. I know you have anonymity and everything but holy jeez, you should be embarassed. <beset us both on ...> Beset means to attack on all sides, to assail. As in we here at poemranker are beset with awful, dreadful, bad, yucky, smelly, stinky,stupid, poor excuses for poetry. WRITHING COMETS!!! WRITHING COMETS!!! Comets neither writh nor are infinite. How does a key unfold something?! It unlocks, it opens, it reveals. I know I'm being unduly harsh but I'm fed up. TORTURED STAKES?!?!
Re: Oaxaca city fragment by poetandknowit	9-Sep-02/10:51 PM
There is a strong contrast to your other poems. I like that effect. Although they too venture into the unseemly realities, this one is particulary dark. 40 words 13 of them harsh. I want to know more. Look to the left, look to the right. Walk down the street, enter. Plus you used my favorite word.
Re: Russian Roulette by <~>	9-Sep-02/11:02 PM
4, 5, & 6 definitely. "The recoil sent you..." So good I closed my eyes. Yes. I also like the way she rides her moto without her helmet. Some R&R of her own. Whether you meant that way or not.
Re: Russian Roulette by <~>	9-Sep-02/11:18 PM
Yes absolutely yes! Try making the 1st stanza, which will now be the 2nd, present tense. Does that sound better to you?
Re: Russian Roulette by <~>	9-Sep-02/11:27 PM
Bravo sister. Keep sharpening your pencils. Solid 10s.
Re: untitled#3 by darby pyn	9-Sep-02/11:42 PM
Yes is my favorite word this evening. So yes. In my opinion this really starts working at "With one extended..." The first 4 and a half lines are some what overdone, dispite that, I like it.
regarding some deleted poem...	10-Sep-02/12:29 AM
Good grief.
Re: The Writing Life by poetandknowit	10-Sep-02/12:34 AM
Writers Block? Pesky neighbor. I bet you'd like to blow a hole through him large enought to accommodate a view.(or a small toddler).
Re: My cousin's baby sitter. by Bachus	10-Sep-02/12:45 AM
"Filled her up just right" makes my skin crawl. (Please remind me again why I love you). Good job being creepy. The last stanza says it all.
Re: Words by PawnedTidal	10-Sep-02/12:55 AM
Don't forget to fuck her one last time strictly out of spite. Then tell her what a piece of shit she is and through her out of the house. A golden opportunity my friend. Otherwise no poetry.
Re: Lavendar Gate by <~>	10-Sep-02/12:01 PM
Lovely. "Green-swathed" & "attic keep" seem slightly pretentious in this setting. Stanza 1 has a simpler voice.
regarding some deleted poem...	10-Sep-02/12:11 PM
Left me wanting more info. The 3rd stanza is ellusive.
Re: Gone Away by Christof	11-Sep-02/8:03 AM
The rythmn is right. And the words are true. Excellent. My only complaint is the last line. I already knew what you were emplying at 'Only 5 days' Is their a better way to end this?
regarding some deleted poem...	11-Sep-02/8:10 AM
Everyone makes fun of me for loving you, but here is a perfect example of why. You are enamoured with sound of words. It always there. This poem needs a little more polish but the sounds and their rythmns are well established. That can't be taught. You either got it or you don't. All the consonants are dancing. The vowels are singing the tune. And that makes me happy.