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Johnny Nasty (Free verse) by peotaster The radio cries out of love and tenderness;
as he gets colder and colder
(a dirty bench doesn't offer much comfort)
the people pass by and offer no change,
his only companion is a beer and an old radio
as it sings sweet melodies to comfort the soul,
playing songs of sadness and tales of loneliness,
the can of beer can only listen as the radio beckons to him;
like a sage, he embraces the music
if only temporarily
if only through a drunken stupor,
he is elevated to a place beyond
the melodies entrancing him to leave the self
for he has nowhere to go,
nowhere to call home;
all he can do is listen to the dreams
dreams of a better day
Up the ladder:
Summer Haiku
Down the ladder:
Cherished Childhood
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.111111
Posted: July 14, 2002 10:56 AM PDT; Last modified: July 14, 2002 10:56 AM PDTWeighted score: 4.5555553 Overall Rank: 12664 Comments:
[6]
horus8 @ 24.126.113.154
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14-Jul-02/2:08 PM
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Reply
I like the way the title has almost nothing to do with the poem, "almost"e
Authors compassion for his subject is undermined by his distance from subject (use of the impresonal "he", "his", lack of insight) and the cliched language ("sweet melodies", "tales of loneliness", "like a sage", "dreams of a better day"). Also, opening line is not clear: the radio "cries out of love and tenderness". Either the radio is being given the emotions of love and tenderness or the sentence is wrong and should read "the radio cries out love and tenderness".
I feel another excrement achivement award coming on however it is not to be laid at the door of peotater but at you newhowl, for pompous bleating from the pulpit, you student nazi. You have not even written poetry yet how could you know of its demands. Let me see you work if its not in by tomorrow detention shall ensue
Why is it 98% of the submissions to this site contain no poetry. This is an observation written down in a purely unpoetic manner. WHERES THE FUCKING POETRY!!! There is more poetry in this homeless guys unwashed underwear then there is in your poorly chosen words.
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