Re: Misplaced admoration by deep-as-a-puddle	17-Dec-02/2:29 PM
Your poem has been fataly wounded by rhyme.
Re: I Can Write A Wrong, But I Can't Right A Poem by horus8	17-Dec-02/2:34 PM
I have to bring you my copy of PLAY WITHOUT A TITLE by GarciaLorca. Don't let me forget. You always know how.
regarding some deleted poem...	17-Dec-02/2:44 PM
This is certainly a mixed bag. I like your use of the word fiction, and some other small things, but overall it really needs to be tailored.
regarding some deleted poem...	17-Dec-02/3:04 PM
Bare-bones saddness. Ouch. Why must there always be a sacrifice?
Re: The Party by blkarak	17-Dec-02/3:36 PM
I like this poem despite it's flaws. The ending is weak. The body, overweight.
Re: joyriding by Bill Z Bub	19-Dec-02/3:12 AM
'Your skeptical chin once brought down religion in morning's first class fomenting rebellion behind bullet-proof glass.'
Re: no cure by New Life Drug	19-Dec-02/3:17 AM
Forget selfess, that's not in question. Will you be selfish? That's what everybody wants to know, especially you.
Re: of people and places (final cut)I by INTRANSIT	19-Dec-02/3:30 AM
Lovely. Get rid of the last 2 lines in the first stanza. I love your poem. i posted just for you.
Re: UltraSound by UnityMitford	19-Dec-02/1:53 PM
I don't get it. Great title.
Re: fa11ing by Bill Z Bub	19-Dec-02/2:04 PM
Could it be 'just before the fall'? This is the best thing I've seen so far besides Tori's 'I can't see New York'. Your masculinity always comes through in your poems, dustchoked and mangled. Glistening is a strong hopefilled word. You have tremendous promise. If I could give you a gift, it would be all the right accidents.
regarding some deleted poem...	19-Dec-02/2:26 PM
What happened to my comment?
Re: The Lordy only knows why tornados have no nose by Bachus	19-Dec-02/3:05 PM
Errr, looses everything in the translation.
Re: DESERVING NOTHING MORE THAN LONLYNESS by LETO	20-Dec-02/9:11 AM
Fixing the grammer and the typos would be like giving Quasimoto hearing-aids. He'd be better off, but still very very ugly.
Re: The Dance by Quarton	20-Dec-02/9:18 AM
Too thick a slice of cosmic pie.
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Dec-02/9:30 AM
Has potential, but still very young. I'm glad to see you writing more personally, keep reeling it in.
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Dec-02/10:22 AM
This is it. This is the key that will unlock it for you. Go backt o this and paint the picture. Tell me about the day your dad taught how to ride. I want to know every detail, as much as you can remember. Go back there again and again. If you can use his words his language, how did he fix you? What would he say to you? Also try making your points less casually, for example the last four lines in the last stanza: January frost reveals your face- in diamond gleams.- goodnight Dad- Sweet dreams.
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Dec-02/8:45 PM
Deeeeeeelish-us! The 4th stanza is a happy wonderful thing.
regarding some deleted poem...	21-Dec-02/11:48 AM
I get the feeling your one of those writers who doesn't start with a pile and then has to sort it out. The 'born writer' am I right? My only criticism here is the use of retreat twice. you have the wave retreating, can't it just carry your image, or steal your images, or wash away your image? As each wave retreats My image is carried out to sea I am fading into the waters I know you have the talent do develop the image better. A strong poem, as usual.
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Dec-02/11:10 AM
Dan garcia-Black should take up writing short stories. Was that you driving the tractor down Fairfax just outside Canter's? Pick me up a prune danish please.
Re: Splendid Discovery by blkarakagain	22-Dec-02/11:22 AM
This is dreadfully over the top. What ever beauty may be here is lost among the gawdy weeds. "More vibrant than the cascadings hues of dementia"?! What the...? Vibrant dementia? Cascading dementia? Hues of dementia? At this point it seems you just love to hear yourself talk. "Unchecked by the plague of human frailty"? Unchecked by sense you mean. And it's not even finished you have accomplished saying abosulety nothing in more words then I thought possible. I met a girl she was beuatiful, we slept together and I got scared. I ran away I hope she comes to me because I don't have the balls to go back to her. Spit it out already, it seems to have poisoned you.