regarding some deleted poem...	10-Dec-02/4:30 PM
God, not another terrible poem about "you know who".n
Re: Untitled by ==Doylum	10-Dec-02/4:35 PM
I know what a nork is, it's a prentious 'poet', pretending to be a Northern Lad..
regarding some deleted poem...	11-Dec-02/11:11 AM
A good friend of mine just sold her parents home, her passed 3 months ago. She didn't realize how much pain it would cause her. She that it was going to be happy about it. Last night she told me sometimes it feels as if her parents never existed. This is a very fine poem, though there are a few unnecessary lines, but right now I'm all about simpliness, directness, so I will give my advice but remember it is tainted by my taste. Get rid of all the (...) The 6th stanza makes it seem as if the berries are growing in the shade of the family. 7-Take out 'Whose' 8-In the center of the wood the pine needles were a giant bed. Each foot sinking comfortable. We saw nothing but woods heard only a breeze whisper about the long past Planting days I think if you simplify the stanzas where you are discribing your childhood experience and leave the other's more a narrative, it would create an effective contrast. Just my amatuer thoughts. you wrote a lovely poem.
regarding some deleted poem...	11-Dec-02/11:20 AM
Horrible title. Horrible poem. If this was just about wool it could be saved, but a clitoris? Though I guess I've never seen yours, and every vulva's so uniquely, like a snowflake, send me a picture, maybe then I'll understand.
Re: For the boyfriend I don't have by ~incarnate~	11-Dec-02/11:29 AM
Alright dear this isn't half bad you just have to get rid of the things that make it sound childish. To kiss him is to surrender. To laugh with him, a lasting memory Blurred not by time. Vanishing like steam His hands on me Speak languages Only my soul knows. here I could spend eternity. good luck with the writing.
regarding some deleted poem...	11-Dec-02/11:37 AM
I especially like the way you understand you and she have nothing in common. The last 3 lines speak volumes.
regarding some deleted poem...	11-Dec-02/11:59 AM
Many typos. this reads like a letter, a sad pathetic letter. 'Maybe I was scared that the hard work was done' is a wonderfully insightful line. Scrap the rest.
Re: Sparks, until Sunvalley. by <{Baba^Yaga}>	11-Dec-02/12:52 PM
Can someone help me, I think that I'm lost here, lost in a place called America... I am crying now because of your poem and Mr. Foster's poem and talking with Andrea last night about her dead dad, and Joey asking me questions about how exactly did his father's head get bashed in, and how did it look and an articleIi just read about the decay of my homeland and everythings so overwhelming. Joey put on his band uniform last-night for a final fitting and he looked so dear with his little bowtie and cumberbund. He'll be 12 tomorrow and still doesn't understand what a frightening, pain-filled world this is. It's layers deep. I will cry for a few more minutes and then i must pluck up the courage to trudge ahead for your boy, for my boy, for me. I love your poem. The soft sweet part of you.
Re: alienheart by Bill Z Bub	11-Dec-02/11:33 PM
This poem is terrible. Get rid of the references. Are young men so really hard-up they'll fuck a-sexual green mini-beings?
Re: Danse by Limness	12-Dec-02/12:33 AM
Get rid of 'it's sway' most importantly, also telling me you will tell me in some other poem turned my switch straight to off. Rough draft?
Re: Panning for gold by INTRANSIT	12-Dec-02/12:58 AM
You're moving along darlink! This piece is quite dark for someone so gullible. Will you marry me? 18-wheel me away from these hooligans? You can tie wood blocks to my shoes, and show me where the gears are. I'll drive, you'll write. Order me a pancake.
Re: Panning for gold by INTRANSIT	12-Dec-02/5:05 PM
Is this a much smaller version? It seems to have lost some of it's emotion. Take out "while on another front". Can you images to create the shift in direction?
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Dec-02/5:15 PM
perfect.
Re: Corny. by Plasticgirlwithgun	13-Dec-02/8:29 AM
Yeah, there is nothing cornier then a pierced septum!!??? Not to mention more poetic. why don't you get his name tattooed across the back of your neck.
Re: Panning for gold by INTRANSIT	13-Dec-02/8:34 AM
I'm still not sure what all the metaphors represent.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Dec-02/6:12 PM
You are a gifted person. A "Don" we latins call it. This is filled with feeling and understanding. A pleasure to read again and again. God bless you Richa. Merry Fucking Christmas.
regarding some deleted poem...	16-Dec-02/7:04 PM
a good poem, though the last line is stale. The first four lines make up for it.
regarding some deleted poem...	17-Dec-02/2:13 PM
I love how innovative your poems are richa, and still when I see the words they still speak of the basics. As if you were experimenting with language the way I child does. I hope you find what you're looking for. I espeially like 'our innocence...over' & 'green so green ... Green is by far my favorite color.
Re: fire by bxjay170	17-Dec-02/2:17 PM
shouldn't it be 'slip out their hands...' by the way we are not the only animals who kil for pleasure. Eatings a pleasure, and fuckings a pleasure, and so is being #1.
Re: of people and places (final cut)I by INTRANSIT	17-Dec-02/2:24 PM
Theecond stanza's beautiful. I almost wish you could leave out the last stanza, but something needs to be said. could you come up with a metaphor? What were you looking at/thinking of when you wrote this?