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Misplaced admoration (Free verse) by deep-as-a-puddle
Our paths do cross but your head it never turns, Inside of me i feel my heart yearn. For months i turned myself around, but your love i never found. When valentines came and two became on face, still my admoration i misplaced. For days on end i would dream of you, until one night that dream fell through. The cold, harsh snow melted away, and through the night broke the day. For once i was in darkness, now in light, I have laid to rest my eternal fight.

Up the ladder: Chilling Out
Down the ladder: the feeling was never there

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.714286
Weighted score: 4.9231596
Overall Rank: 9398
Posted: December 17, 2002 12:45 PM PST; Last modified: December 17, 2002 12:45 PM PST
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Comments:
[4] nentwined @ 66.92.183.34 | 17-Dec-02/12:58 PM | Reply
too much "forced the line to fit the rhyme". rhythm could use work.
[n/a] god'swife @ 209.179.210.210 | 17-Dec-02/2:29 PM | Reply
Your poem has been fataly wounded by rhyme.
[7] lunar @ 195.92.194.14 | 19-Dec-02/1:27 PM | Reply
This doesnt really make sense, plus it does seem you have changed to make it rhyme but i do quite like it but its not really the type of poem i relate to! xx
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