Re: The last day of an old year by poetandknowit	23-Jan-03/3:20 PM
This is really deliteful, a good strong edit. My only small complaint is 'abstinence' they arre so young you couldn't mean sexual so ... I'm left wondering. Otherwise flawless, a real pleasure.
Re: Snowblind by horus8	23-Jan-03/3:36 PM
Get rid of 'with', change 'find' to 'finds' and then you have it. I feel this in my gut. 10.
Re: Library and Information Centre by Nicholas Jones	23-Jan-03/3:40 PM
You are oblivious despite yourself. Get more funding.
Re: The Other Side of Me by Quarton	24-Jan-03/12:05 AM
Excellent. Solitude is the poets Eden. A very fine poem, not my cup od tea but beyond rebuke.
Re: Sticks and Stones Farm, Pot Luck Thursday Nights by <~>	24-Jan-03/8:45 AM
Really lovely, a very fine picture can you switch the last two lines around somehow? the second line sounds more like the last note of a sweet sad song.
regarding some deleted poem...	25-Jan-03/11:31 AM
You're such a prankster, I love pranksters. There is much reference the Alpha male, and you sprawled naked on a cement mixer, what are you trying to tell us? I think you're sexually frustrated. I wonder what your cock looks like. Is it nice? Smooth? Velvety? How big does it get?
regarding some deleted poem...	25-Jan-03/11:34 AM
More please.
Re: Why my cock attracts idiots by horus8	25-Jan-03/11:40 AM
You are the unfortunate victim of great looks, great energy, and an intriguing mind. Everybody wants you, it's true, and you have no boundries. You are a PRIEST you just refuse to take your place at the altar. it's so very hard to say no, there's no fun in it. Time to post a poem for you.
Re: flight (a poem written in high school) by Bill Z Bub	26-Jan-03/12:09 PM
My favorite so far. Quite different fromt he first draft. I love the rhyming, tips/cliffs. Could/earth. Really a first rate poem. Change 'dusty' to something truer, deeper. Something sadder, more poignant.
Re: The Magical Hairy Chair by Nagi	27-Jan-03/12:32 AM
I was reading random poetry When suddenly one night I came upon the dumbest poem That ever caught my sight Some idiot just prattled on and made no sense at all He thought it funny to write rhymes about hair and genitals. He lead me down the garden path through a churchyard to a cellar He thought with laughter, I would collapse To read how he stroked his 'fella' Well let me tell you one last time I'm sick and tired of reading Of self abuse and penis juice And auto-inflicted beatings you boys are dumb Who speak of bums And Aids and prawns and brownings Stay away, go and get laid You're in serious need of mounting I'm bored of being victimized by your manipulation Practice is the proven cure For pre-mature ejaculation. It's obvious your cock is small No 'Bishop' as you claim your just some stunted acolyte You should be ashamed.
Re: The yellow rose of California by INTRANSIT	27-Jan-03/4:16 PM
Terrific, a good strong picture. Thou you need to rethink the first line and make this more personal. Pretend you have seen the flower, it sounds to me like she has touched you with her sad state. Is she me, perhaps? If she is and even if she isn't use what you know of me, or any other woman who fits this discription, to make this richer. Think in precise images. Get rid of 'and' before 'uproot'
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Jan-03/8:45 AM
keep; intil dark flowed and the process... ...despair.(the entire stanza is good, but leave out L3) affection sneezing is not a strong image keep process of sickness but find some other way to be contaminated. that's about it for me. Nice to see someones work in progress. I appreciate it.
Re: Sticks and Stones Farm, Pot Luck Thursday Nights by <~>	28-Jan-03/8:17 PM
First of all the title; Potluck, Thursday Nights That is a wonderful title, leaving things open and full of surprise. Last line first: out into the starlight The big stone barn shines warmth Tthrough the overhead glass doors. Never twice the same these steps we take. The gravel path through the cedars is ice tonight. I am the last to arrive. The dozer and the back-hoe loom Hazy orange Sleeping behind a sheet of insulating plastic They crouch there, in the makeshift hall Behind the roll down door Prehistoric shadows Like a playground for kids who don't listen. The table is set, and the food is almost ready. There are four meats, and no salad but nobody minds. Another log is thrown on the fire to keep us warm And I have brought winter ale. We dance after dinner, separating circles that overlap and reform, distortions in the same flow, dance ourselves a river each week. Never twice the same, these steps we trace. Dance, slide, swing and kick Socks off, crazy laughing. We make The rafters quake. .....That's it for now. You exhuast me. I really love this by the way. My clever girl, you are like a phone call to the twilight zone.
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Jan-03/9:22 PM
25 anonymous 10's! Your worse than Bush with his Floridian chads.
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Jan-03/9:29 PM
A load of crap, or carp, all depending.
Re: Hermes Trigamestus (was not a monk edit) by Jeremi B. Handrinos	28-Jan-03/9:38 PM
Underwater math is a beautifuL and novel idea.
Re: Hermes Trigamestus (was not a monk edit) by Jeremi B. Handrinos	2-Feb-03/6:05 PM
Exccelent, this.
Re: American Idol epiphany in haiku by Shardik	2-Feb-03/6:12 PM
The last stanza makes me so tremendously happy. the first, not as much. This is worthy of a more universal title.
regarding some deleted poem...	2-Feb-03/6:17 PM
Are hippos omnivorous? I thought they were herbivores, with their wide blunt teeth.
Re: Summer by MaliqaTara	2-Feb-03/6:25 PM
The only light at the end of any tunnel is a train. Get out of the way. ther is some honest and worthwhile emotion here, you just need to learn how to paint. I think your vision is strong.