Re: Drug Addict by SupremeDreamer	20-Oct-03/1:10 PM
"rotting time" "hollow stone" "eternal view" "insomniatic dreams" I could do with one less "warm" in the last stanza.
Re: glimpse by nentwined	20-Oct-03/9:13 PM
this leaves an impression that is belies its size. does the door lock so people like this can't get in? (so believes the common man)
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Oct-03/9:19 PM
a fithing epitaph - I with I had thome of my teef weft. Wiath a minuth - how come I can thay the 'th' sound in 'thome' but I canth thay the 'th' sound in 'teef'?? thunofabith.
Re: Lake Arrowhead by abecedarian	20-Oct-03/9:24 PM
I'm going to save a limb from an electronic tree and just agree with hatters hare completely. There is some wonderful language in this, particularly in the "Unfortunately..." stanza.
regarding some deleted poem...	21-Oct-03/11:14 AM
I doesn't know why they - I've thought about it too. I've ne'r heard of Andrea Corr, btw - but I've just looked her up, thanks. My idols (though thats a pretty strong word) come and go and and vary by subject. In music, I'd have to say Don Henley; poetry - Wallace Stevens. For racing, I'd have to agree with Mr. D. Angel ...
Re: Toku by Bill Z Bub	21-Oct-03/7:32 PM
Nutty and impressive (in the way that it leaves an impression). I like the unusual formatting. On the downside, I feel like there is an oversimplification, or a misunderstanding someplace; just a feeling.
regarding some deleted poem...	21-Oct-03/7:34 PM
Ack. Seeds - I hate seeds.
regarding some deleted poem...	21-Oct-03/7:42 PM
Okay - lots of really interesting and good things happening in this piece! Great imagery. The second stanza though - it just doesn't gel for me. I think you went a tad too far in the simile then the further description of how you were assembled - the whole yard gnome/lawn thing. Almost starts to sound like a bad detective novel "she was like the night, really dark and when I was around her I would always wack my shins" - okay, an extreme bad example.
regarding some deleted poem...	21-Oct-03/7:45 PM
I can hear it speaking to me, but I'm not sure what it's saying - it is interesting, but puzzling. I don't mind puzzles. As an aside, a nocturne is usually about the night - is this part of the puzzle?
Re: Evel Knievel's last bananna split    by horus8	22-Oct-03/6:18 AM
Awesome title - now I have to read it; please hold... Hey that rocks. It's a sad and pitiful rocking, but with an air of challenges overcome.
Re: glimpses by nentwined	22-Oct-03/6:30 AM
That second stanza in particular describes an old scene in a very fresh way; well done! This use of the parenthetical gives it an interesting flavor - like building a language - or a mythology. I think it can easily be overdone though - you've kept on the inside of that. bird leaves as she cools, the parallel with the decomposing city - nice.
Re: My Chocolate F-9 by abecedarian	22-Oct-03/6:35 AM
A Gibson mandolin, I believe. And an expensive one. This expresses that desire to rush but the fear of breaking very well - and that has larger implications. liked it!
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Oct-03/7:02 AM
echos of wallace stevens here - and there's not a damn thing wrong with that(although that could just me being effected by "if you know how to use a hammer, everything looks like a nail") Lovely - sensual, sweetly cadenced.
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Oct-03/5:16 PM
(Petrarchan)
Re: I have no problem with short people of color or religion by horus8	27-Oct-03/6:03 PM
holy shit thats alot of words - actually, its only 680 - but it felt like more. I read them all. Quite a cathartic rant - feel better??
Re: Waiting On A Friend by Yatasuma	27-Oct-03/6:07 PM
I totally get it, but it took me a few (cuz I'm medicated). I love cable. You should get cable (or DSL) or a modem that works.
Re: What The Hell?! Oh, It's You... by Yatasuma	27-Oct-03/6:08 PM
a well conveyed [senryu]; a simple sentiment. gave me a smile.
Re: turn the cameras off by crin	27-Oct-03/6:10 PM
kindof a lyrical quality. Not crazy about the lowercase "i"s, and maybe a tad too many cliches/term dropping - but workable methinks.
Re: The Gone-Too-Far Kitchen by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?	27-Oct-03/6:17 PM
Pretty excellently done. Wonderful language use and the thing is polished up quite nicely. the use of "sanguine" gives me a little pause though - I can appreciate the aliteration it gives, and I see you've tied it in with the last stanza - but I just can't roll over it. Prolly just me. Maybe it's *because* of the alliteration with "submerged"? Maybe swap out submerged instead?
Re: comment-ary by nentwined	27-Oct-03/6:58 PM
I like your haiku/senryu, you do a very nice job of conveying a single, not necessarily simple, thought in them. People think that's easy. Spewing the first thing that comes into your head and bleeding bile and blood all over a page - THATS easy. Sorry, I was spewing. Done now.