regarding some deleted poem...	22-Jun-04/7:42 PM
Its got your usual good flow, steady hand. Not crazy about the "it" with "cannot" (toss it) or the word "Huge" - lumbering takes care of that and if not, maybe a better word would. bleeding a bit from small words, but still - fine enough.
Re: Tulips for Penelope by zenhaircut	23-Jun-04/7:16 PM
Artfully done, but a tad long for a first exposure. I would need to be a fan to commit to such a lengthy verse, and as it is, I admit to skimming toward the end there. I hope the others are more accessible - but this one; very nice anyway. (a few typos, btw - a quick spell check will reveal them)
Re: Small Town, January by zenhaircut	23-Jun-04/7:18 PM
good one.
Re: Sustained by Dovina	26-Jun-04/8:40 AM
"Semptember smog" is a very nice combo. the ending is good, but I'm left wondering, despite the pleasant impression, what this is about.
Re: afraid by hbhpoems	26-Jun-04/3:25 PM
hi hbh, if that's your real name. This does express the description of fear - but I'm always more comfortable with a poem that expresses fear itself. How do you feel when you feel afraid? Describe some of that abuse - use some poetic devices, paint a picture. Make me feel it without telling me what to feel? Can you do that?
regarding some deleted poem...	26-Jun-04/3:29 PM
I like the wedge and the verse doesn't seemed cramped to fit it. The significance of this 72 year old man, other than his affinity to disabled women, is lost on me.
Re: Absolution by Drunk Russian Poet	26-Jun-04/3:31 PM
The gene pun is horrible, DRP - I just can't get past that. You may very well be saying some profundity - but if so, you have a clown nose on while doing it.
Re: upon driving through rural Washington by david	26-Jun-04/3:35 PM
"distant whelm" is very nice. quite a few nice bits in here as I read it again. I hope I don't seem to ignore those when I say much of it is smothered by one, two and three letter crap words. Try a version without them for your own viewing, tell me if you don't like it.
Re: Origins by Doug	26-Jun-04/3:37 PM
no spaces bordering the dash - and I like that line alot. Is this the same as before? Or a similar technique?
Re: Interrogation #1086637 by MacFrantic	26-Jun-04/3:40 PM
2 spelling errors take away from it: consciouseness, akward. fine otherwise.
Re: SIMPLE by shazpen	26-Jun-04/7:20 PM
quite nice - I would have made a few different line break choices, but really - a small thing.
Re: Ayudame (Help Me) by | Broken |	27-Jun-04/4:50 AM
the use of Ayudame is the best part of this; elevates it.
Re: Tough by Dovina	28-Jun-04/7:47 AM
"still not shaving, unwhiskered" a wonderful, telling line.
Re: The Death of Love by donmiguel1960	28-Jun-04/5:25 PM
really aught to reword that "whom" line, even if it is correct it is awkward in this context, imho. Not crazy about breathing devoid, either - sorry.
Re: Commandment One by TLRufener	28-Jun-04/5:28 PM
Sheepheard is, wrong. The premise of writing to something one doesn't believe in gives me pause. Though I did like that "Dear God" song a while back.
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Jun-04/5:31 PM
Liking the sci-fi feel to it. I think u use cigarette butts once too many times, though. I will have to look up "elote".
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Jun-04/5:33 PM
Not sure why this is getting eviscerated - plenty of good in it and the ending cadence is spot-on. I don't read it as a rant against fat people, not at all.
Re: Black streets of Hackney by cpill	28-Jun-04/5:54 PM
Well, a sonnet. But the identical rhyme , and wait - well, no rhyme scheme either. Hmm. The language sounds like you are faking things English, strangely enough. It is almost good, but somehow it smells crippled - mayhaps on purpose.
Re: finally i say goodbye by francis nor capule	1-Jul-04/6:51 PM
The repetition helps this, I think - but the theme is so often done that reader sympathy is difficult.
Re: Helo everybody is limerck time!! by DR Limerick	1-Jul-04/6:52 PM
heheh - not bad. Dual question marks are good there.