Re: Recycled Stardust by Quarton	1-Jul-04/6:54 PM
With the vocabulary and the big telling that comes from the big words this quickly becomes a tough sell.
Re: Lady Bradbury’s Excursion by Dovina	1-Jul-04/6:58 PM
Dovina - this is somewhat strange. it really is.
regarding some deleted poem...	1-Jul-04/7:02 PM
Cute. You could have expressed the same idea with less, and the reader would thank you for it.
Re: An Ode To Dark Angel, Private Investigator by tolstoyleo	1-Jul-04/7:03 PM
Unfitting a "man" of his stature.
Re: The Missing Peace by nothingtoanyone	1-Jul-04/7:09 PM
This reminds me more of an outline or some notes for a poem. Should be distilled quite a bit.
Re: When the night completes by donmiguel1960	2-Jul-04/5:19 AM
There's some good language in here though it comes off a little choppy'list-like. How is that fixed? Try, if you want, playing with where the lines end and your preposition use (there are lots of them in here). Flow and show?
Re: Veracious Flames by Evening	2-Jul-04/5:23 AM
you could almost remove the first word of every line and the thing would be better for it. I like this one.
Re: Xansis by jonnyduk	2-Jul-04/5:27 AM
ditto
Re: Stuck in VI by jonnyduk	2-Jul-04/5:28 AM
here.
Re: Poetry. by jonnyduk	2-Jul-04/5:29 AM
less ars, and more poetica, please.
regarding some deleted poem...	2-Jul-04/5:37 AM
Nice. Original angle on a near cliche. I had a small amount of trouble picturing a key chain in a wallet (rather than an individual key). Maybe consider doing thing from a purse-wielding perspective?
Re: Precious Thing 2 by cleverdevice	3-Jul-04/5:06 AM
gripping to a certain degree - maybe grasping. Lots of nice symbolism to play with, but I think *maybe* it's a tad long. and that last sentence needs to go.
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Jul-04/5:06 AM
See, now that's deep.
Re: Love Slain by Mus Vai	3-Jul-04/5:43 AM
I like your name.
Re: Charming Distraction ( The Day I Put My Socks On Backwards) by MacFrantic	3-Jul-04/8:26 AM
rotary phone is a nice touch. I've been critiqued for my line breaks recently, but some of these give me pause. If no one else says anything then its just me.
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Jul-04/11:39 AM
Stellah. nicely done.
Re: Translation by Dovina	3-Jul-04/3:28 PM
quite nice, this. I think you could loose most of the commas though (not hers) and it would be stronger for it (especially the ones before "and").
Re: Mississippi Burnin. by SupremeDreamer	3-Jul-04/3:29 PM
A good hook. you could rather put "hang me on a Mississippi tree" and increase your market share, I think.
Re: blobby sums +-*/ by MR Blobby	3-Jul-04/3:30 PM
an your total is six.
Re: Worst Sex Ever by Brittanyy	4-Jul-04/9:00 PM
a sad thing indeed.