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Love Slain (Free verse) by Mus Vai
I swallow my words and sever my thoughts, The guilt in me opens its eyes, I run from you, I hide from you, That one blessing was a curse in disguise, For you throw yourself onto your knees, And your cries touch my empty soul, "Love me," you say as I walk away, My heart as heavy as stone. Two star-crossed souls so different apart, Yet unified by so much alike, She was a dreamer and held onto hope, While he knew it could never be right, So in silence she suffered for her love, For two vibrant hearts could change, But was it not to be? What was fate against? I hear you call, calling for me, You can't bring back time, And though I wish it weren't so, Your heart can never be mine, This love just can never be, And with your head in your hands, I leave you silently. Her bloody tears soaked the ground, Staining it red and black, A mark of the hand that slayed, For it was burning inside her too long, But never more again, And thus it drove her to her grave, A life extinguished by love.

Up the ladder: trully, madly, deeply
Down the ladder: Garden

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.0
Weighted score: 5.119203
Overall Rank: 5721
Posted: July 2, 2004 8:31 AM PDT; Last modified: July 2, 2004 8:31 AM PDT
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Comments:
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 163.1.146.135 | 2-Jul-04/8:55 AM | Reply
At first glance on the recent poemes list, I thought the title was "Love Stain". Having eagerly clicked on it, you cannot even begin to imagine my disappointment at seeing the title was actually "Love Slain", and that the poeme was rife with lines like "This love just can never be". -10-
[n/a] Mus Vai @ 165.21.154.16 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 4-Jul-04/5:45 AM | Reply
So get glasses. Cheers for the 10 mate.
[7] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 | 3-Jul-04/5:43 AM | Reply
I like your name.


[n/a] Mus Vai @ 165.21.154.16 > Shuushin | 4-Jul-04/5:46 AM | Reply
yeah so do I. I like yours.
[n/a] Mus Vai @ 165.21.154.11 > Shuushin | 4-Jul-04/5:49 AM | Reply
Hold up .. that's all you gotta say?
Kanasai ..
[7] arduinn @ 165.21.83.247 | 5-Jul-04/4:55 AM | Reply
don't really feel the words.. but the way you write is good. keep writing.

I'm not sure why you used 'he' in stanza two when all throughout you used 'i'. (?)
[n/a] Mus Vai @ 165.21.154.15 > arduinn | 7-Jul-04/7:54 AM | Reply
It's called poetry .. the pen is your key to no limits. And it sounds cool 3rd person.
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