Re: The Peccadillary by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	11-Apr-06/2:04 PM
I can only imagine that in your claim that "To pretend to have had an affair with Shane Warne" refers to tabloid claims by a young lady that she misbehaved with him following day two of the Old Trafford test in the 2005 ashes series. I can assure you that this was no pretence, and while I have no proof that he slept with her, leaving the bar "Saltwater" in central Nottingham with said young lady in tow is circumstantial evidence enough. I know this because I was there, and I saw it with mine own two eyes. Watching the aforementioned Warne depart first ball the next day to a viscous Simon Jones lifter almost made me cry with laughter. 10. Dear Americans, I almost began to explain this comment but I'm not even going to try. xxx.
Re: PLEASE VOTE FOR MELANIE by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w	6-May-05/6:56 AM
Why not let dear Melanie know how you feel: melanie.mclean@gmail.com A bit late now, but I'm sure she'll appreciate the thought.
Re: a comment on 15 Minute poem by Damien	20-Apr-05/2:48 AM
GHASTLY
Re: a comment on My Dumb Choice...YOU by sonawrote	20-Apr-05/2:47 AM
Spelling young man. Aloud: With use of the voice; orally. Allowed: To let do or happen; permit. Which of these do you think best fits your comment?
Re: a comment on f*ckyouoldmenandyourrules by Damien_	20-Apr-05/2:43 AM
I pretty much agree, quite a talented young man. The problem being that those who wish to imitate him only see the angry young man type stuff and don't explicitly pay attention to the elegance with which it is constructed. Hence you get loads of angry teenagers thinking that if they shout 'fuck' enough times someone will give them a record deal.
Re: f*ckyouoldmenandyourrules by Damien_	19-Apr-05/8:29 AM
Why not stop banging your head against a brick wall on poemranker.com, and start your own site called angstyteenagerapranker.com. Do you want to be the next Eminem or something? This one, however, did make me laugh. So you get a 5 for it. You lose marks for it being just a bit too much like 'Stan' by Eminem in terms of the sheer amount of ranting rage. Take it easy. Actually you can get a 6 for the unexpected Deng Xiaoping reference, although you should capitalise proper nouns. Fuck not f*ck.
Re: a comment on Trying to get signed? by Damien	19-Apr-05/5:20 AM
Wrong. I said what you made me THINK. I made no assumptions. You, however, have reinforced my opinions that you are just indeed quite insecure. On a second point, I quote THREE of your statements from your poems, from which I assemble a point of view. Not one line only. What you don't say is whether my opinions of you are accurate. I think most of those who have been on the receiving end to your childish tantrums regarding the marks awarded you would agree with me. What do you think? ALLOWED, not ALOUD. And even so I don't get your point, are you saying that in some metaphorical sense you are not asking for an opinion on your work? You also fail to answer the point regarding your (non) use of grammar. Perhaps the "key that can begin this process" is for you to accept that you could improve your writing, and your response to the comments of others. Especially when said comments are not a direct attack but an honest critique.
Re: Trying to get signed? by Damien	19-Apr-05/3:23 AM
Damien, you say on your homepage: "Think what you want but express what you like not what is wrong." Which makes me think that you only want positive comments on your poems. Now, if you really wanted to improve you would welcome all constructive criticism, but you don't. This makes me think that you are a little too insecure to receive constructive criticism as it is meant. Now if you put you poems on a website called "poemRANKER", then you can't really get all upset if someone scores you a zero; that's just their perception of your work. There's no point expecting people to build up your self image, when the image they will create (of an excellent poet) is inaccurate. You say "All I need now is an honest opinion of this If I can write this simply do I have a gift?", you've been given an honest answer, and you've got all upset about it. It may suprise you, but if you do write something brilliant, it will generally get comments saying it is brilliant. And finally, the grammer issue. You must accept that it is important, consider the following two sentences: A woman, without her man, is nothing. A woman; without her, man is nothing. Identical words, almost directly contradictory meanings, all achieved by the placement of punctuation. So your claim that: "if everybody decided to do this we would still understand each other." may not be as correct as you think. Even the addition of a few commas to your poems would help a great deal, think of it as helping hands guiding the reader through your work. Now don't get all offensive.
Re: a comment on Betwixt and In Between by dougsoderstrom	7-Jan-05/2:54 AM
And there's more. http://www.poopreport.com/Ask/Content/whemying.html What made you think that a site called "poopreport" would give you serious lead on your "study". You have twice said that you are interested in this, but the question is why? You seem to be a very odd man.
Re: Math Poem 3 by Dovina	6-Jan-05/6:18 AM
Not only is the maths in this poem facile beyond belief, principally because you wouldn't know decent maths if it bit you on the arse, but the poem itself it terrible. Doesn't scan, has no rhythm, in fact, apart from being arranged into four, for want of a better word, stanzas, could just be some guffy text. Give us a break with the maths poems.
Re: a comment on Math Poem by Dovina	22-Dec-04/3:57 AM
His disappointment would be greater still if he were hoping for an amusing anecdote in poem form on the fate of a spastic in a wheeled-chair.
Re: a comment on Math Poem by Dovina	21-Dec-04/7:13 AM
He is perfectly entitled to entitle his carrot poem however he likes. However, upon seeing the title a fellow vegetable fanatic may thrill with excitement at the prospect of a poem on his beloved subject. Imagine his disappointment though, when it turns out only to concern carrots! For while a carrot is unquestionably a vegetable, there is so much more to see in the world of the greengrocer.
Re: a comment on Math Poem by Dovina	21-Dec-04/2:56 AM
Being a non-mathematician you won't get this; but don't confuse numbers with maths. A strong element of good poetry is the elegant and effective use of language. Maths is just another language, and many mathematicians (those who understand and appreciate the language) find a great deal of it very poetic. A site called 'theoremranker.com' could bear remarkable resemblances to this, but in the same way that few non-english speakers will visit this site, few non-mathematicians would find worthwhile content in theoremranker.
Re: a comment on Quest! by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?	19-Nov-04/8:34 AM
Your second comment is true, but "1M9" in base 35, has 1 in 35*35s column, 22 in the 35s column and 9 in the units column. 35*35 + 22*35 + 9 = 2004. In base 36 you're looking at year 1KO.
Re: a comment on Dictionary Lesson by Dovina	19-Nov-04/6:22 AM
Is it possible, that once logical correctness has been established, you can then "stretch life metaphorically" to the point where the logically correct conclusion is shown to be false? If so please give an example. Would you not agree that your poem would be more impressive if it made philosophical/logical sense, and conveyed the "feeling" which you wish to achieve? I don't see why you couldn't, except for a knee jerking reaction against DA and Zodiac. As has been discussed on this site innumerable times there is a big difference between good emotions and good poetry.
Re: a comment on Bracelets In A Box by cuddlytiger17	13-May-04/6:59 AM
This just HAS to be a troll. Surely, surely, surely. In just three lines of brilliantly composed wind up we have: 1. Love is what is important to me. 2. Poetry is about emotions. 3. I'm not trying to impress you, I'm just expressing my emotions. 4. If you don't like it, don't read it. I am very impressed, your wind up technique is possibly unrivalled anywhere else on Poemranker. Well done. But your poetry stinks. In Xanadu did Kubla Khan A sacred pleasure dome decree Where Alf, the sacred river ran Through caverns measureless to man Down to a sunless sea... Great poem, not much about love and emotions. Any guesses on the author cuddlytiger17?
Re: a comment on I Go On by drumrgirl30	6-Feb-04/6:13 AM
Advice. Not advise. 'Advice' is a noun, 'to advise' is a verb. Perhaps a mastery of these linguistic subtleties (such as basic grammar) would be a worthwhile acquisition before you next decide to splurge another 13 lines of staggeringly awful shite on to the web. Next to this a Nigerian scam email reads like one of Shakespeares finest. DEAR SIR I COMMEND MYSELF TO YOU FOR I A RELATIVE OF THE DECEASED MORGAN TSVANGIRAI ENTREAT YOU TO JOIN WITH ME IN A CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS PROPOSITION MILLIONS OF DOLLARS CAN BE YOURS I NEED ONLY: YOUR BANK DETAILS YOUR EMAIL YOUR HOME TELEPHONE NUMBER YOUR COMPLETE AND BREATHTAKINGLY STUPID TRUST AND CREDULITY. At least there is some elegance to the language. AND arbitrary linebreaks. Without which NO poem is complete. And another thing. If you are an American logged in to this site can I point out that: "I could care less about that" Means that you ascribe an amount of care greater than or equal to some arbitrarily small, positive epsilon. What you mean to say is: "I couldn't care less about that" Which means that you care an amount less than some arbtrarily small epsilon. Meaning that for any positive amount of care, you care less. This is a rigorous definition of not caring. Could you please all take this on board? And in more general terms, think hard about the grammatical structure of what your write before you click on the 'submit' button.
Re: a comment on 3AM At Whitey's by DurtKL	5-Feb-04/2:16 PM
Now that takes me back. Leisure Suit Larry I believe. Readers may like to take this as an indication that -=Dark_Angel=- spent his formative years trying to get a badly a drawn computer game character to cop off with another badly drawn computer game character. In this challenge he eventually succeeds with the unusual aphrodisiac of an apple. Stranger things happen at sea.
Re: a comment on Belgium and rose tears by SupremeDreamer	6-Nov-03/8:39 AM
The axiomatic form of your reasoning was not immediately clear, however I accept your response. As for your third paragraph, however, it simply depends on the quality of the kiev. Mechanically separated chicken or lovingly hand made fillet/breast creations? I think you ponderings on the nature of Kiev(x), will be greatly helped by you seeking out more lovingly hand made examples.
Re: a comment on Belgium and rose tears by SupremeDreamer	6-Nov-03/2:59 AM
As fine as this piece of argument is, I'm afraid I must post the following refutation. The underlying assumption made by -=Dark_Angel=- is that an X Kiev is 'an outer shell, consisting of pulped X, coated in breadcrumbs, surrounding some Y'. This argument, however, is false. Y is not specifically declared, and thus must be global. All references to Kiev must therefore use the same Y. A sausage Kiev, therefore, is and outer shell consisting of pulped sausage (surely simply sausage meat - another logical slip perhaps; Is a sausage or part thereof actually pulped?) coated in breadcrumbs surrounding some white sauce that they put in the middle. This is quite different to a scotch egg. It is worth noting that when Kiev is instantiated with no argument the default output is a city in Eastern Europe that is neither pulped nor surrounded by breadcrumbs, thus Kiev is overloaded and the implicit assumption that a Sausage Kiev would be similar to a Chicken Kiev is questionable. Sausage Kiev may well be a city surrounded by pulped sausage. This area would benefit from further research.