replying on fire has its own logic by impert&ent
12 Jun 2004, 12:42 PM
So I get 2 out of 3? Nice!
replying on fire has its own logic by impert&ent
12 Jun 2004, 12:41 PM
Yeah. Totally natural and good for the garden.
on leavetaking by daniella
11 Jun 2004, 2:18 PM
As ever, beautiful.
replying on Fourteen Years by impert&ent
23 May 2004, 10:12 AM
As in Paul Bowles?
replying on Lotion by impert&ent
23 Mar 2004, 4:14 PM
Or perhaps a Loation from Chaos?
replying on Nature Of The Day by impert&ent
1 Mar 2004, 10:57 PM
Yeah, bit of a clunker, innit? Still not sure the previous stanzas and the pacing works either. But I'll come back to it at some point to see what to see what to rearrange. Thanks for the straight-up, and the dime.
replying on Nature Of The Day by impert&ent
1 Mar 2004, 7:46 PM
Whatever you say. :-)
It's golden.
It's golden.
replying on The hypocrisy of calling it tolerance by impert&ent
6 Nov 2003, 12:19 PM
What, as in moon, June, loon? It was difficult enough to find the quotes. If you want them to rhyme, talk to Stanley & Marvin; have them get their verbal act together before casting it about the airwaves. Or do you mean something else, like tighten up the metrics?
replying on The hypocrisy of calling it tolerance by impert&ent
6 Nov 2003, 12:07 PM
Maybe so. A fitting subject for a poem of its own.
replying on Upside down and tigers by horus8
18 Sep 2003, 7:56 AM
Serves me right for not checking about the deer. I'm laid low. But what's this about the heart? The heart of a hunter? A murderous pairing? Blood lust?
on Upside down and tigers by horus8
17 Sep 2003, 7:56 AM
I like it. It works. But I'm gonna offer a critique as well: musk is from oxen. Was it ox for dinner? Pheromones is far less visceral than any other word in the poem. I can't smell it. Perhaps:
I lowest growl of hot flesh on your cool.
I lowest growl of hot flesh on your cool.
on lament and retrograde by Don-Quixote
17 Sep 2003, 7:40 AM
Tis fine. Even though I misread/rewrote the last line as I read it: Too proud to scrawl.
replying on These are not just words by impert&ent
14 Sep 2003, 10:59 PM
What are salesmen? Chopped liver, perhaps?
Thanks for the comments. I'm not trying to express a truth, especially not a truth applicable in all circumstances. And I do think words convey, while arguments persuade. However, I too was less than satisfied with persuade/convey, but it works better than the alternatives I've come up with so far.
Thanks for the comments. I'm not trying to express a truth, especially not a truth applicable in all circumstances. And I do think words convey, while arguments persuade. However, I too was less than satisfied with persuade/convey, but it works better than the alternatives I've come up with so far.
replying on These are not just words by impert&ent
14 Sep 2003, 10:40 PM
Thanks. Now where's that emoticon for 'I'm honored'?
replying on These are not just words by impert&ent
14 Sep 2003, 10:21 PM
Okay. I try some more. Had a 4th stanza in mind anyway, so it's not over yet.
Not sure what this means: "ending in you, still.." A sixth line at the end?
Not sure what this means: "ending in you, still.." A sixth line at the end?
replying on plagiarism txt by daniella
14 Sep 2003, 5:16 AM
Thank you. :) But I have submitted, and in a manner consistent with the discourse on plagiarism, by ensuring that Daniella gets credit for her creation, inspiration and at least part of the response to it.
In other words, the format of poemranker is open to play. Daniella started it with the rewrite, and I'm continuing it by posting (er, submitting) here.
after that, who knows? Maybe someone will make a poem that samples dialogue and spreads it across poemranker one line at a time. Would that be plagiarism?
In other words, the format of poemranker is open to play. Daniella started it with the rewrite, and I'm continuing it by posting (er, submitting) here.
after that, who knows? Maybe someone will make a poem that samples dialogue and spreads it across poemranker one line at a time. Would that be plagiarism?
replying on Laundry Day by impert&ent
26 Aug 2003, 7:09 PM
Iâm pegged.
Strung up by my own fabrication.
Strung out on a series of puns
Theyâll be my undoing and hampering.
(How to write a poem: never provide opportunities for puns: they'll be taken up, you'll be washed out.)
Strung up by my own fabrication.
Strung out on a series of puns
Theyâll be my undoing and hampering.
(How to write a poem: never provide opportunities for puns: they'll be taken up, you'll be washed out.)
replying on plagiarism txt by daniella
21 Aug 2003, 12:51 PM
Hmmm.
I think I would change some of the lines to:
Style: work You do
not the poem
Do I get a spanking? Is that where the fire is?
I think I would change some of the lines to:
Style: work You do
not the poem
Do I get a spanking? Is that where the fire is?
on plagiarism txt by daniella
16 Aug 2003, 11:56 AM
??
Style:
You do
work
not the poem
does include miscellany
for all that do
Please.
Submit
not
to the ranking.
poem's title rights or
Cancel posting
of poems not in a Poem
by your Title: retain.
Please post your other body
you belong
Submit
Style:
You do
work
not the poem
does include miscellany
for all that do
Please.
Submit
not
to the ranking.
poem's title rights or
Cancel posting
of poems not in a Poem
by your Title: retain.
Please post your other body
you belong
Submit
on A Circle Starts with C by rusty
3 Aug 2003, 12:15 AM
I like the insane rhythm. The sense that the floor is heaving and pitching; that houshold objects have overcome inertia and are now in rebellion.