Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

fire has its own logic (Free verse) by impert&ent
fire has its own logic beer and twilight June 11th and it's still too chilly to sit outdoors at night. So I torched that pile of laurel branches at the end of the garden, pulled up one of the plastic chairs I'd salvaged from the kerb and sat before the fire to pass some time. I've never set in the twilight before it's not like this blue light screen and music on the stereo Fire has a logic of its own none of the interiority of computers, websites and recorded music It's not human beer and twilight Quarter past ten in the evening and it's still light out I could sit under the sky and pass the time as so many have done prior to the advent of computers and stereo twilight has its own logic apart from any elections, the 9-to-5, and this blue light screen beer has a logic of its own my brain the circuits respond to beer as so many have done before the fire in the twilight Some time alone with a logic that is not human self-referential enclosing

Up the ladder: Valantine
Down the ladder: sleep

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
.. 41
.. 20
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 7.2222223
Weighted score: 6.111111
Overall Rank: 1106
Posted: June 11, 2004 2:55 PM PDT; Last modified: June 11, 2004 2:55 PM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[8] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 | 11-Jun-04/4:53 PM | Reply
"interiority of computers" - interesting.

Some fresh ideas here, but the form is hurting it imho; got me thinking on it.
[n/a] impert&ent @ 82.36.28.139 > Shuushin | 12-Jun-04/12:42 PM | Reply
So I get 2 out of 3? Nice!
[4] Shardik @ 24.130.62.63 | 11-Jun-04/6:02 PM | Reply
humus
[n/a] impert&ent @ 82.36.28.139 > Shardik | 12-Jun-04/12:41 PM | Reply
Yeah. Totally natural and good for the garden.
[9] god'swife @ 4.232.108.217 | 11-Jun-04/8:39 PM | Reply
There's something innocent and frail about this poem, probably the honesty and use of everyday words. Lovely, your poem. She's got a few problems but they're small. Is this a first edit?
[n/a] impert&ent @ 82.36.28.139 > god'swife | 12-Jun-04/1:02 PM | Reply
Straight from the horse's mouth. I'm not an astute editor of my own work, which is why I'm happy to have other people make commenst and/or suggestions. Thanks for the kind words.
[9] daniella @ 200.89.142.43 | 16-Jun-05/8:20 PM | Reply
i like reading your mind
[8] ay deee @ 24.255.87.123 | 5-Sep-05/8:03 AM | Reply
many a night spent in the good company of fire and beer. bring your friends next time, too. i liked june 11 and quarter past ten in the midst of timeless reflections such as these.
270 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2019 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001