Re: a comment on Random Sandwich, or, The Scavenger's Chocolate Wrapper by impert&ent	21-Nov-05/3:54 AM
How true. But it wasn't in the list of thirteen that showed up in my RSS reader. Maybe I should make up for it by having a collage poem of zeroes.
Re: Random Sandwich, or, The Scavenger's Chocolate Wrapper by impert&ent	20-Nov-05/9:17 AM
A collage of snippets from the first lines of the last 13 poems to appear on Poemranker's RSS feed. Neither random nor contrived, this pick of the litter/litter-picker's approach to composition reflects the momentary ambience of poemranker.
Re: Nowhere Land by Caducus	21-Sep-05/9:37 AM
There's much to like in this, but there are a couple of loose ends too. I like the imagery and the metaphors. But I don't get the "robins staff", and think the focus changes in the last line, and leaves the thing unresolved. If the staff were a coat hook, it would make sense to me, given that your coat is the rain. As for the last line, you may set spectacular, but in a solitary land of your own rather than nowhere. But why focus on yourself at the end, given that up to that point the focus is on her and the love?
Re: The Trees in Spring (edit) by Sasha	29-Aug-05/1:44 AM
Well conceived, I like the line of thought. Each stanza presemnts a clear idea in the development of an overall insight. The phrasing feels a bit awkward, but it may just be the number of syllables and the structure of a sonnet. The only thing I can see to change is the 'they' and Theirs' in 2nd and 3rd stanzas. There is a hint of subject/object disagreement that could be clarified.
Re: a comment on orange crumble by impert&ent	28-Aug-05/3:52 AM
The word is typically used with reference to concrete that endures sub-zero tempratures. It can also refer to concrete floors that are disintegrating through the accumulation of lime or due to the movement of heavy loads across them. In the case of freezing, water near the surface of the concrete freezes, expands, and shatters bits of the surface. Spalling also occurs with brick, but regardless of temperature. Bits of brick flake off, and sometimes rework an entire face. On older walls the entire surface develops a rough but pleasing character. If you live in a freezing climate, take a close look at the surface of a concrete steps or retaining walls, particularly those with smooth-formed surfaces. Bits of edges that look like they've been knocked off are likely spalls.
Re: a comment on orange crumble by impert&ent	28-Aug-05/3:40 AM
1. Gap in your vocabulary. 2. It's just a way of looking at a wall.
Re: Tarragon by D. $ Fontera	26-Aug-05/12:24 AM
Nice evocations of cooking throughout - but for the line about hips. So I'm thinking of a substitute for chassés that involves a stirring, a rolling, a grinding.
Re: orange crumble by impert&ent	25-Aug-05/11:59 PM
after tanks(4) http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=129826
Re: tanka(1) by shadows	20-Aug-05/12:19 PM
I like bits of this a lot, but overall it's a bit too matter-of-fact. Takes away some of the metaphors that might be brewing.
Re: tanka(4) by shadows	20-Aug-05/12:15 PM
I see some lines I like. Some lines I'd like to play with too.
Re: a comment on Playing The Vibes by impert&ent	20-Aug-05/11:46 AM
That would be telling... Let's see if someone else picks it up.
Re: a comment on Playing The Vibes by impert&ent	20-Aug-05/11:45 AM
I like your reading of it. It's got a take I hadn't imagined. I do mean plane, though I see what you mean, and I like your interpretation. I am thinking of something else, where plane is the right word, with one reference to a flat surface, like the hull of a ship, and another reference to aeroplanes. I was hoping the ambiguity in my spelling of certain words would prompt a variety of readings. Again, your reference to the seabed is correct, but I was writing about it in the third line: no wor(l)d is so calm. Similar ambiguities are meant with chorals (corals) and writing (writhing). But I still didn't come up with your take on it. Just proves you've got more imagination! The title comes from two things, not related to the poem. I took a hit from Caducus, playing with his vibe. I was also listening to an old Cal Tjader tune on the radio that really made me want to move. That cat was something else on vibes.
Re: a comment on The Servant and The Messenger by ALChemy	19-Aug-05/9:49 AM
It's compelling. Well done. But ditch those apostrophes unless you mean "by way of it is comand", and "whether it is end be near". The possessive needs no apostrophe. It has its own logic for that. It's not the usual logic.
Re: a comment on Polar Bearings by impert&ent	1-Aug-05/7:46 AM
I've got two questions about this. 1. Which part of what I said? 2. Of those infinite lines, how many definite lines would you draw between you and the coffee, and how many would you draw on the other side of you and the coffee, but between (you+coffee) and I? None? One? Many?
Re: a comment on Polar Bearings by impert&ent	29-Jul-05/5:17 AM
Thanks for the kudos... but the two objects could both be on one side of a line, like Belfast and Buenos Aires are both on the west side of the Greenwich meridian. It gets trickier with regard to things that are on both sides of a line, like London. Or a marriage.
Re: Where did the word "ORIGIN" come from? by T. Jonathron Remp	25-Jul-05/2:16 PM
It all began with Jon Jonsson, who came from Wisconsin, and worked in a graveyard there. Whether late at night or in broad daylight, he asked himself this thing: where did it start and where will it end and how will we know which is which? Day after day and year after year he asked, until one day he passed. In his pocket they found a note that said 'put this on my stone: It all began with Jon Jonsson'.
Re: a comment on Polar Bearings by impert&ent	25-Jul-05/2:00 PM
Basically. With the possible addition of some golly wogs and funny hats.
Re: a comment on Wholes: the year in reflection by impert&ent	26-Jun-05/4:53 PM
We might need to work on that then. I felt that the space developed by one wasn't quite as vital as that created by two. The dynamic is important. Do you dance alone?
Re: a comment on the space between by impert&ent	26-Jun-05/4:36 PM
Good idea! But what's the diacritic for a short inhalation, like the Danes do at the ends of sentences?
Re: a comment on fire has its own logic by impert&ent	12-Jun-04/1:02 PM
Straight from the horse's mouth. I'm not an astute editor of my own work, which is why I'm happy to have other people make commenst and/or suggestions. Thanks for the kind words.