regarding some deleted poem...	12-Sep-03/10:18 AM
Why is the title capitalized? I thought you were on the thumpin' wagon again. You really had me going for the first couple of verses.
Re: Armageddon (I Am Mr. America) by SupremeDreamer	12-Sep-03/10:21 AM
Quite enjoyable.
Re: Quadroons by Shardik	12-Sep-03/10:28 AM
I've never known a quadroon to be as black as night.
Re: Dream by silvy	12-Sep-03/10:30 AM
Would you rather have grammatical feedback than numerical scores?
Re: Lifestyles of the ripe and glamourless by horus8	12-Sep-03/10:42 AM
The comments were as good as the poem. Quite a storyteller, you are.
Re: Style by Nicholas Jones	12-Sep-03/10:56 AM
enjoyable
Re: maternal-infant bonding (rejection) by SupremeDreamer	12-Sep-03/10:59 AM
Nice. I loved "their mewlings". Interesting coming from you- did some research, did you?
Re: The Sinners Saloon by SupremeDreamer	12-Sep-03/7:39 PM
Yes, I can see the source of your inspiration. I don't know about "sapless sinner"- I would think of your sinner more like a diabetic with an appetite for the sweet and decadent (but he/she would request the sour, for atonement purposes).
Re: THE BEST POEM EVER!!!!!! by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?	12-Sep-03/7:45 PM
But alas, you misspelled "assumption", so all the power that your poem might have had to reverse vasectomies, etc., is voided.
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Sep-03/7:57 PM
Where have you been? Getting knocked up by your cane carrying vaudevillian? This is nice. The love/hate relationship with hormones and the "children" your narrator has resigned to forfeit are all very well constructed. The second line could use another word...like "was full as a petticoat" or, make that part of the sentence below "last night the moon/full as a petticoat/ shown upon this last month of harvest/ (or "this ovulation...") But, whatever, you know I am more of a prose writer so my feedback is slanted in that direction.
Re: my fucking dad by timvick473662003	13-Sep-03/8:24 PM
I like the detachment (dissociation) when you say "watching your dad beat you"- but I didn't like it as much toward the end, I couldn't really believe that the narrator would be able to be so remorseless about his/her mother's death.
Re: Babelfish Poetry (IV): Hablaré en pensamientos (Español) by Geschäftsreise	13-Sep-03/8:35 PM
These ears can't hear you ~> Beautiful.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Sep-03/8:52 PM
Vivid-a great descriptive piece. The stanza "I can feel already/ your hands in my hair" didn't do a lot for me. Is that going to be the first place this person touches when the narrator steps off the plane? I want to know if this is an affair or a lifetime partner or boyfriend or what, but I am not sure knowing would make it better. On the stare[s] section, I would advise (take out "and the")"Mild turquoises of suburban/ pools stare upwards.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Sep-03/8:55 PM
well done
Re: I can, could, would. by TheVoiceless	13-Sep-03/8:57 PM
nice title
Re: Plastic is Forever by http://mulberryfairy	13-Sep-03/9:34 PM
Suggestions for "plastic-ized"? I imagine it sounding like plastisized, but don't think it is a word, and taking out the "c" makes it seem unclear-er.
Re: horse ass, whore ass, poor asses by peaceseeker	14-Sep-03/10:57 AM
Was this thonged masochist you? I liked the title, but you could use another reference to the horse ass part in your poem- maybe the horsebacked female cops that are so attracted to downtown Portland at night.
regarding some deleted poem...	14-Sep-03/11:04 AM
I fail to see what warrants a rerelease of this piece, except that you've decided to be consistent and misspell mulberry throughout the poem (except the title). Perhaps you are attempting a play on words in your misspelling of my username- but it doesn't seem like you mulled over this one for long. Is this the way you treat your gay friends when you are having respectful, intellectual disagreements? If so, I guess I should say I am flattered and I love you too. Also, who said anything about being on my back? Be more imaginitive, "missionary"?!
Re: Watching My Son Sleep. by Mona Lisa	14-Sep-03/11:05 AM
Cute, and ambiguous as to the narrator's feelings there at the end.
Re: < A Perfect Faith > by Mona Lisa	14-Sep-03/11:06 AM
right