Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

THE BEST POEM EVER!!!!!! (Sonnet) by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?
The score thou awardest this poem, Shall be the reciprocal of the amount by which, Thou enjoyest the company of children in the bedroom, On a scale of a tenth to infinity. All those claiming to be above such conditions, Or to be otherwise immune or uninterested in them, Shall be assumed to have an unhealthy interest in minors, You know what I am talking about! In addition, all those failing to vote, Shall be tarred with the assumption stipulated above, To wit, the equivalent to a score of infinity, Will be awarded by default. This is an official decree, By the Royal Council of Bards and Wordsmiths.

Down the ladder: Shit happens

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 33
.. 00
.. 30
.. 10
.. 00
.. 20
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 106

Arithmetic Mean: 3.5172415
Weighted score: 3.5209076
Overall Rank: 13594
Posted: September 12, 2003 5:51 PM PDT; Last modified: September 23, 2003 7:42 AM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[0] SupremeDreamer @ 69.19.177.188 | 12-Sep-03/6:03 PM | Reply
ok, Mr "Wordsmith.."

just one thing: assumtion should be assumption

tsk. nice title.

heres an 8.
[n/a] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 195.92.67.74 > SupremeDreamer | 12-Sep-03/6:08 PM | Reply
Thank you. I in turn present you with a score of 0.125 - fairly respectable. +0.2 typo critisising penalty. I did know how to spell assumption, honest.
[0] SupremeDreamer @ 69.19.177.188 > ?-Dave_Mysterious-? | 12-Sep-03/6:18 PM | Reply
im Mr. funny.

And i ate the ninja turtles,
they made a good stew..
[n/a] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 195.92.67.74 > SupremeDreamer | 12-Sep-03/6:26 PM | Reply
You certainly did.
[n/a] Joe-joe @ 68.194.57.229 > ?-Dave_Mysterious-? | 13-Sep-03/1:45 PM | Reply
Shittiest poem ever recorded on this site! -10-
[n/a] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 195.92.67.69 > Joe-joe | 14-Sep-03/2:11 PM | Reply
The voting table suggests that you have not been entirely truthful about the supposed ten you claim to have awarded me. What would God say about that? Don't you remember the 7th commandment, thou shalt not lie?
[n/a] deleted user @ 24.222.81.233 | 12-Sep-03/6:09 PM | Reply
Moses does not fart near you I presume.
[n/a] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 195.92.67.74 > deleted user | 12-Sep-03/6:16 PM | Reply
Infinity.
[n/a] deleted user @ 24.222.81.233 > ?-Dave_Mysterious-? | 12-Sep-03/7:48 PM | Reply
stupinity.
[n/a] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 195.92.67.69 > deleted user | 14-Sep-03/2:11 PM | Reply
Gay.
[n/a] deleted user @ 24.222.81.233 > ?-Dave_Mysterious-? | 14-Sep-03/7:43 PM | Reply
Far too much time on your hands. And comepooie.
[n/a] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 195.92.67.75 > deleted user | 15-Sep-03/9:50 AM | Reply
You can never have too much time for poetry.
[n/a] deleted user @ 24.222.81.233 > ?-Dave_Mysterious-? | 15-Sep-03/3:51 PM | Reply
Keep trying and someday even you shall poo out a poesie.
[1] deleted user @ 64.63.204.8 | 12-Sep-03/7:08 PM | Reply
1
[7] http://mulberryfairy @ 216.195.144.96 | 12-Sep-03/7:45 PM | Reply
But alas, you misspelled "assumption", so all the power that your poem might have had to reverse vasectomies, etc., is voided.
I write poetry from my heart, not a dictionary.
lel.
[0] suprembeaner @ 24.126.113.154 | 13-Sep-03/4:21 AM | Reply
you are the leader of male homosexual poetry.
good job.
peniscabob.
3char1per
o.
[n/a] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 195.92.67.70 | 23-Sep-03/7:46 AM | Reply
I have now corrected the assumption error which seemed to have been keeping this poem off the top of the "best" list.
[5] Garrett S Sexton @ 81.135.72.172 | 23-Sep-03/10:06 AM | Reply
Blackmailing the ranker? Not quite a chain letter, but witty. An average 5 from me.
[8] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ 24.126.113.154 | 23-Sep-03/11:30 AM | Reply
Did you watch Carnivale last night?
[n/a] Sasha @ 69.140.246.96 | 17-Apr-04/11:31 AM | Reply
It's more fucked over than a whore at a bachelor party
[n/a] Stephen Robins @ 213.146.148.199 > Sasha | 13-May-04/6:31 AM | Reply
That is a fantastic rhetorical expression. You truely are a versifier par excellence.

You fucking tool.
[0] edpeterson @ 68.79.2.46 | 13-May-04/6:12 AM | Reply
best poem i ever read. I wouldnt change a thing...0
[7] SweetJuliet10 @ 205.188.116.68 | 13-May-04/10:49 PM | Reply
hey davey one question.... were you talking about michel jackson? and i quote from the poem:"Thou enjoyest the company of children in the bedroom,"
oh well..... its not the infamous EGG that you also wrote but ill give you a 7 just cus
[8] hatedestruction @ 167.196.165.11 | 17-May-04/7:44 AM | Reply
8
[8] Tekara @ 66.218.35.193 | 28-May-04/6:23 PM | Reply
I'd be willing to bet that at some point in your life, you worked at a renaissance faire! Not bad work over all. -8-
[0] 7!3 @ 219.93.174.101 | 19-Nov-04/7:37 PM | Reply
best among the worst?
[5] Bhaskaryya @ 212.162.192.165 | 21-Dec-04/10:57 PM | Reply
I found the "THOU" thing pretty unnecessary as you really don't follow it up in the other cases. I won't say I hate but don't love it either. A 5!!
[10] Brittanyy @ 152.163.100.135 | 31-Jan-05/5:26 PM | Reply
Wait...what? I...I don't get it..Probably all that weed I smoked earlier..Oh well..I'll grant you with a 10..The rule on this site seems to be that all good poems are confusing with all the big..words..and stuff..anyways...Always pass the dutch to the left..Cuz the right way is wrong..PEACE
[10] durr_T_hip_E @ 68.254.156.173 | 22-Mar-05/12:25 PM | Reply
LOL...as i see below...somewhere....under my nose...2 tens scored upon the board and a group of pedophiles in tow!!!

This is hilarious...I love you...

Peace,

Sean

P.S. Due to my interest in beautiful women and receiving head, you get a ten!
1122 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001