Living in a personal hell half of your God forsaken life wishing death upon my on putrid soul death upon the father as a whole wishing one of us would take the plunge falling on a propped up knife Watching your father beat your defensless mother screaming and crying stop watching your father beat your mother with your unborn brother screaming unheard cries Growing older living in this painful hell knowing it is your demise wishing death upon yourself with painfully cold eyes knowing it's the only way out watching your dad beat you, feeling his cold jabs tasting the iron rich blood in your mouth explaining you fell down the steps at school the next day afraid of what people think knowing you are dead on the inside Threating to leave home without your father dead knowing when you do your mother has had it turning your back trying to breath at the point of gasping for the rancid air of freedom Reading in the papers your moithers obituary not having any remorse hey it's her fault not yours, is it? Is it?