Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

Troublemaker (Free verse) by Patsy
Some of me thinks you should be Should have been a Revolutionary; a thinker, an idealist. It's the glasses, really. You look like a true intelluectual, slightly ill-at-ease appearing, but instead observing, calculating pure: You are your own ideology. The spectacles render you keen render you shrewd, render me. i start by giving you a pair of wool socks, then show you how to lace up a farmer's work boots and tell you to stuff them with straw in the winter. i'd give you a bulky old sweater (old but clean) Then an army greatcoat (maybe newer than it should be) nd fur lined mittens (the cold precludes environmentalism and besides you eat meat) (Bear meat? Moose? What should i force through your forward thinking teeth?) After wondering for a while whether you needed another sweater-layer, i'd shrug and wrap a long, black wool scarf around your neck (but never, ever your eyes) but keep in mind you frivolous and wasteful tassles would be, and you would not get a fur hat- not even because i'm sypathetic to beavers (or whatever) but because i like the small caps- i know you don't have to make up for a small, cold brain. And to finish you up i'd hand you so many blank leaflets so many and when you show up ay my door step in the absolute dead of winter, i promise to hide you and your many mild mannered ideas.

Up the ladder: on your birthday
Down the ladder: my fucking dad

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 10
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 20
.. 10
.. 01
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 5.714286
Weighted score: 5.192101
Overall Rank: 4636
Posted: August 30, 2003 3:28 PM PDT; Last modified: August 30, 2003 3:28 PM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[10] basit_i @ 209.148.207.78 | 31-Aug-03/7:15 AM | Reply
this, as a whole, eclipses most else i've read of yours.
an aura of...tenderness, perhaps?
i've forgotten the exact word, at the moment, but inverted paternalism is what i'm trying to get to.
many more questions, though: is it based on a specific person? the..err..rest of the questions will have to wait till later, because i must zoomph into offline mode.
~
again, thank you.
[10] basit_i @ 209.148.207.78 | 31-Aug-03/7:20 AM | Reply
also, though: the title? "troublemaker"?
[9] Y2kSlamPoet @ 204.31.166.101 | 31-Aug-03/7:39 PM | Reply
Hrmm.. it doesnt have that quality i call beautiful, but its well written, and crafted with skill, lets call it a comely house wife that can cook a good stew and keep her husband happy..

9.
[n/a] Alizarin_Crimson @ 68.227.184.146 | 23-May-05/1:18 PM | Reply
yay! You are my favorite!
226 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001