regarding some deleted poem...	7-Aug-03/7:01 PM
One need not believe in god to have a decent life.
Re: God is a Lady by thepinkbunnyofdoom	7-Aug-03/7:05 PM
I like the image of god's highrise apt. with pictures of kitties. Couple of typos: "She get(S) many calls still but enjoys other's (should be others') misery"
Re: Duet by rusty	7-Aug-03/7:09 PM
Yikes! You need to get back to the safety of floors. I enjoyed it.
Re: Looking down by INTRANSIT	7-Aug-03/7:10 PM
I think the words "indecent" and "proposal" can never again be used next to each other. The rest is good.
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Aug-03/5:26 PM
3rd line from the bottom should say "silence is". I like the "wispier scratching...." part.
Re: Portsmouth belle 3 by Garrett S Sexton	8-Aug-03/5:30 PM
Yawn. How about a deeper look?
Re: Stalker by OnTheOtherHand	8-Aug-03/5:35 PM
Nice allusion to Poe. It didn't really need the repeated verse at the end. Maybe it would be better if you did half a repeated verse, then changed the second half to give us more info.
regarding some deleted poem...	9-Aug-03/7:02 PM
Nice. I like the shift from the pain of lack of respect of your art from critics to the pain of seeing that child, to whom you will give your unconditional love, sick and "caged" in her incubator. Liked the matter of fact quality of these lines, particularly: "When all that was needed Was for me to ejaculate in someone's birth canal To capture beauty?" And I liked how you said "capture beauty" and the child ends up "caged". Babies in NICU's are so amazing, if she has/had feeding tubes and IV's and monitors, those might be interesting to add. Again, very nice.
Re: 1967 Ford Carmine Jalopy by SupremeDreamer	9-Aug-03/9:26 PM
Very nice. I loved this one: "Frayed tires roam intumescing ferroconcrete, unfolded infinitely along the gangdoms of Los Angeles."- good vocabulary words!
Re: 1967 Ford Carmine Jalopy by SupremeDreamer	9-Aug-03/9:27 PM
Oh, but could've done w/out the "emerald eyes" (been there).
Re: Gaolbreak: Jade Marlboro by DreamerSupreme	9-Aug-03/9:33 PM
Yeah, I know what you mean. I was once a part of a cubicle community. I think you should call them proletarians. I didn't like the " 'round noon-time" part. I though noon-time was a New England saying (as if noon were something other than a time).
Re: Smoking Clitoris with PHD handles by <{Baba^Yaga}>	10-Aug-03/7:09 AM
Did you mean to include "And so on and so forth" in the nicknames section? Nice job.
Re: On Youth Revisited by vulcan	10-Aug-03/7:12 AM
Saying "grim shower" right after you were washing your face made me think you were talking about a (bathing) shower, rather than a rainstorm.
Re: Pina Colada Belle by Don-Quixote	10-Aug-03/7:21 AM
Between your other, more feminine sounding screenname, (which always, at first glance, has me imagine you as a 29 year old white female) and this talk of pina coladas, I am starting to re-question your purported gender. (I, personally, love pina colada's but am allowed to by society because I am a woman.) I love the way you've conveyed how oblivious you were to what she was talking about and how you managed to report the loosely constructed thoughts that were drifting through your mind.
regarding some deleted poem...	10-Aug-03/7:40 AM
You again! But you are right, these comments were worthy of preservation in a poem.
regarding some deleted poem...	10-Aug-03/7:45 AM
Up so late, and on the computer on the weekend. Are you okay?
Re: Playa been caught in their games. (revised/new) by LuckyJoe	10-Aug-03/6:57 PM
Line 2: change to - "too" Line 8: wanting to dry what, her eyes? too forced Line 12: despise seems forced too, it is a verb, after all, and you are using it as a noun for an emotion. I am not a rhyming poet myself, so I can't really talk, but the rhyming poems that are most enjoyable to me don't have lines that all end with one syllable words, those rhymes are too obvious and predictable, and they halt the lyrical flow of the words. It doesn't seem like rhyming poetry is going to be your strongest area, at this point.
Re: Between Now And Then by sliver	10-Aug-03/7:00 PM
Line 8 should say "Savior's side"
Re: Happiness & Old Age by Caducus	10-Aug-03/7:04 PM
So sweet. I like the stanza in which you talk about your worst fears, the TV dinner, arriving early to "argue with the black driver"- hilarious. You need an apostrophe in Mum's (referring to her gravy).
Re: Hardcore Denial or Sumpin'. by Shardik	10-Aug-03/7:08 PM
Chimey, but funny, as usual.