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1967 Ford Carmine Jalopy (Free verse) by SupremeDreamer
Emerald eyes gaze over dented metal painted a faded ruby red; the shell that coats my broken down 1967 Ford. The pathetic sight of this deformed vehicle invokes the frustrated sighs of self pity. Jean-clad ass cheeks slide into an off-white leather seat. My inner universe descends into a twilight trance. Frayed tires roam intumescing ferroconcrete, unfolded infinitely along the gangdoms of Los Angeles. My tongue besmeared scorched, vodka flavored lips, while uttering vulgar complaints in a spout of california road rage. Thoughts effuse in a super-sonic flux, focused on how I'm gonna pay back my Korean peddler for all those opiate influenced nights that were mulcted onto my tab. Inflamed eyeballs glare through my begrimed windshield to discover scores of abandoned hondas, wagons, and S.U.V's. Damned yuppies appreciate nothing. Their compact, jap-made tin cans are conveniently designed to fit in the sardine slots of sun-baked parking lots. Rarely do I ever find a goddamn polished, achromatic double bed for my over the hill pollution machine.

Up the ladder: PEOPLE. (Debut)
Down the ladder: The Sinners Saloon

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.8
Weighted score: 5.3337684
Overall Rank: 3398
Posted: August 9, 2003 7:10 PM PDT; Last modified: August 9, 2003 7:10 PM PDT
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Comments:
[9] http://mulberryfairy @ 216.195.146.65 | 9-Aug-03/9:26 PM | Reply
Very nice. I loved this one:
"Frayed tires roam intumescing
ferroconcrete, unfolded infinitely
along the gangdoms of Los Angeles."- good vocabulary words!
[n/a] DreamerSupreme @ 204.31.176.46 > http://mulberryfairy | 9-Aug-03/10:04 PM | Reply
you would be amazed what can be done with a dictionary.. i seriously spend a good amount of time scanning over the possibilites, forming them neatly around my imagination dream galaxy into a string of pearls.. ;D

Im quite proud of my gradual but sure mastering of the dictionary.
[10] abecedarian @ 4.46.73.15 > DreamerSupreme | 10-Aug-03/2:06 AM | Reply
you know supreme (can I call you that?)
of course I can , because as I've said... I'm drunk

Horus said something to me recently .. um er.. to Retaliate recently that his Mentor (the capital was conspicuos) apparently told him:

(and this has caused me to think about the subject dammit)

"You've strung together some nice words" was the phrase.

Is it possible that increasing one's vocabulary actually decreases one's effectiveness as a poet?

Or maybe that's just the homebrew speakin'

(As a fellow LA dweller I appreciate the humour, but I'm going to find you and burn your car to a briquette so that you can claim insurance and the environment can sleep better)
[n/a] Don-Quixote @ 204.31.171.100 > abecedarian | 10-Aug-03/2:40 AM | Reply
Yeah, sure you can call me supreme..
horus once called me supremely head in the clouds once that i recall.. heh.. course, my actual name is Lee. ;)

My funny friend, i dont string shit together unless its going to make some amount of sense.. take out a dictionary and tell me what phrases i made that didnt make a damn wittle of sense oki?

Dont worry about me needing to do this, I DID do just that before picking the words. And even before playing with the wordy cafe universe, i did two drafts and worked the damned thing out.

course, im human, so take a crack at it and lets see if i did the dictionary magic correctly.

also, i dont actually live in LA.. im in san jose, this is an almost pure creation of me imagination space adventure...
i drive a nice pair of muscled legs and rough soled feet.. heh.

And, yeah it can decrease ones effectiveness, but it all depends on HOW you do it..

and dude, talkin about comin around to burn my nonexistent car is a bit scary.. i mean, i am called "supremeDreamer" lol.

and bout the enviroment, cmon man.. bush is in office, save it. ;P
[n/a] Retaliate @ 4.46.73.15 > Don-Quixote | 10-Aug-03/2:55 AM | Reply
I'm more agony than reality, DQ, and less funny than peculiar.
(more hairy than mulberry fairy)
and certainly less scary than any of the above.
[n/a] Don-Quixote @ 204.31.171.100 > Retaliate | 10-Aug-03/3:05 AM | Reply
Just keep in mind that i do have three nicks.. (just want to get that out of the way so theres no confusion, course i can always switch and let me "alter ego" confirm it..)

less scary? fear isnt an emotion i bother with, so it dont make a difference. ;P btw, whats your take on Pina Colada Belle?
[9] http://mulberryfairy @ 216.195.146.65 | 9-Aug-03/9:27 PM | Reply
Oh, but could've done w/out the "emerald eyes" (been there).
[n/a] DreamerSupreme @ 204.31.176.46 > http://mulberryfairy | 9-Aug-03/10:01 PM | Reply
been there? my lil fairy, i HAVE those green eyes... ;/
Right, I got that, but isn't there something you could call them besides "emerald"? It's too Disney for my taste.
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ 204.31.182.137 > http://mulberryfairy | 10-Aug-03/7:59 PM | Reply
eh, sure, but i consider my eyes to be emerald ;P
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