regarding some deleted poem... |
22-Aug-02/12:54 PM |
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Re: Death and the Non-Scanning Poem by tooniron |
22-Aug-02/12:58 PM |
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Re: Good Bye by josh_5o |
22-Aug-02/12:59 PM |
doesn't scan well. helps a bit to drop up to "Too complicated". or even to "The most beautifully". still reads roughly, though.
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Re: ode to bad taco meat by gay |
22-Aug-02/1:56 PM |
hmm. same ips as balthazar, zzinnia66, malvolio... don't see any correlation with da's ips, though. ?
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Re: Dressed to Kill by DespondentDotCom |
22-Aug-02/1:56 PM |
I think I'm missing something with the middle line that ties the poem together. carter's stanley knife?
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Re: Dark Lady by quantumenterprises |
22-Aug-02/1:58 PM |
choppy scansion. though I appreciate that it's to a beer. :) [temporal paradises that last eternal] is especially awkward.
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Re: Dead Eye by kthulah |
22-Aug-02/1:59 PM |
cute. stumbles in a few places, and couldn't follow the "thought" from one end to the other, but... cute.
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Re: Zanzibar by sunfloweronfire |
24-Aug-02/4:01 PM |
I didn't like the line "curious cranes" rhyming with "sweet sugar cane". and the self-reference was a bit much.
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regarding some deleted poem... |
2-Sep-02/1:26 PM |
very cute. thanks for keeping it on the level. ;)
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Re: Father O Father O Father of Fools by dougsoderstrom |
3-Sep-02/2:56 AM |
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Re: The Seasons, Changes by Frass |
5-Sep-02/10:37 PM |
I can attest -- their ips look nothing alike. but whatever. people believe what they like, and even the best things in life can be faked. ;) (sorry this is offtopic)
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regarding some deleted poem... |
7-Sep-02/11:47 PM |
the flow of the poem could use a lot of work, as well as the imagery. agreement with the show/don't tell comment... though honestly I could see this as a top ten country song (I don't like country).
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Re: birds by pjenkins |
7-Sep-02/11:47 PM |
cute. flow could use some work.
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Re: A poem from the sky by Roisin |
8-Sep-02/2:04 AM |
poem rhythm/flow/cliche could use some work.
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Re: Mean Matt was so mean, when a homeless guy asked him for change he gave him a -blank- by beakism |
8-Sep-02/2:55 AM |
I see. So basically you were anally raped? or is that a rocketship?
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Re: BEAKBOY, A Tale Of Suffering by beakism |
8-Sep-02/12:55 PM |
this is hilarious and well done. :)
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regarding some deleted poem... |
9-Sep-02/2:30 PM |
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Re: My cousin's baby sitter. by Bachus |
9-Sep-02/5:26 PM |
not really haikus. haikus "need" two contrasting images.
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Re: The Flame of My Country by sylbaryn |
9-Sep-02/7:18 PM |
I stumbled through the reading of this, both due to its (overly?) cryptic nature, and that I couldn't really find a flow in it. Especially "The book is a guide/ But the ring is music from design". And are the stars crying out for pain or from pain? or is it not the stars' pain... hmm... like I said, cryptic. And a bit confusing. :)
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regarding some deleted poem... |
9-Sep-02/7:19 PM |
my god. this is hilarious and ... I hate to say this, but... well put. Hmm. I'd publish this, personally. :) Maybe I've just been staring at the screen too long...
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