regarding some deleted poem...	10-Jun-04/8:42 PM
Impressive. This is the best work I've seen from you so far. Blessed with ten.
regarding some deleted poem...	18-Jun-04/8:18 PM
Good stuff, but honestly, what point was there in putting in the count-down? Blessed with nine.
Re: Deja Vu by Jeremi B. Handrinos	18-Jun-04/8:27 PM
Bravo.
Re: A parking lot, a smoke, and the pleasure of being alone by thepinkbunnyofdoom	18-Jun-04/8:31 PM
I like it as is, except you could have added a line break after "I'm somewhere." That said, you are blessed with ten.
Re: Cool In The Army by wilco	18-Jun-04/8:34 PM
Not bad, no, not bad at all. Blessed with nine.
regarding some deleted poem...	18-Jun-04/9:13 PM
I feel this could be trimed down, which would give it more impact in my opinion. Blessed with seven.
Re: Johnny Thunders And Me by pain killer	18-Jun-04/10:38 PM
I feel this piece would be greatly improved if you edited it. Look for repetetive or redundant lines, trim it down to give it better impact and so it doesn't seem to drag on and on. Despite that, I'm compelled to give it a nine. It's honest, funny, and pushes the right buttons for me.
Re: Better Days by pain killer	18-Jun-04/10:50 PM
Smashin. Blessed with ten.
Re: Its raining by caitydee	19-Jun-04/12:09 AM
Over-all, the rain theme isn't very strong, and the ending didn't help that much at all-- reminded me of something that would be penned by a highschool girlie. Blessed with six.
Re: Let Me Swing by caitydee	19-Jun-04/12:15 AM
Certain stanzas were pretty good, but some of the other stuff such as: "Did the sun blind me that day? Cloud my eyes from reality Create feelings you never felt for me?" AND "Oh let me swing! You thought I would look silly among the kids We were suppose to go back that night Do you remember? But it rained-so we said ‘next time’" Really sounded childish or "teenaged". The rest could be revised into a more fluid and enjoyable piece. As for how that could be done? I leave you to figure that out for yourself-- it's better that way, me thinks. Blessed with seven.
regarding some deleted poem...	19-Jun-04/5:58 PM
It starts out well, and unfolds nicely, but the ending left me feeling limp. Blessed with eight.
Re: What's Poetry by Sasha	19-Jun-04/10:50 PM
This poem is the kind of thing that causes me to tremble in angst and the fear that a poet hides in the shadows, praying that the sun never never rises from its mountain-crook. It's amazingly bloated, and I know a lot about using mind-blowing padding-- that's how I've managed to effectively irritate rankerfolk, by piling on meaningless candy-coated, poisoned bullshit and slapping a title on it-- the kind of shit that cause most sane folks to take up a hobby, like genocide, for instance. "as real as rain or fake as rainbows," Ok, when someone says something is as real as the rain, their usually teenagers that are going for the slightly uplifting average of a C+ in english class. As for rainbows? I have a bias, a tick you could say: Whenever someone mentions rainbows in a poem, I have to try very very hard to stifle the puke rising up my throat so that it doesn't become air-born with extreme velocity. Never mind the murderous rage that accompanies the over-all sensation. Fuck skittles, you get what I'm sayin? Oh, and the german, french, spanish, martian garble, etc, is well, fucking annoying and seems like an attempt to drown your "poem" in eloquent riddles that mean nothing. That, or it's a clever ploy dreamed up by a twisted freak of a jester to instill frustration and confusion among rankerfolk.-- never mind the multi-lingual blither, we still need to figure out what the fuck your rambling on about in english. Almost nothing in your poem (written during a fit of lunacy, or an encounter with jack daniels) relates to each other-- most of it is just dull imagery mixed with elaborate vocabulary that makes my adventures with a thesaurus look like a cruise across the Pacific Ocean, with volcano hiking in Hawaii as the vacation special. We de have a vague notion though, a glimmer of the frail innuendo-- (yeah, I'm good with the fecal gilding aren't I??) supposedly your yappin about what poetry (to you and whatever party you belong to) is, what it means, it's purpose, and ??? you didn't seem to have time to really get into a subtopic.. wait, did you even keep to the topic? oh, yes, barely, your hate of poor Ginsberg seemed to snap you out of the shit-trace to make a pathetic closing that barely connected with what you began with. Maybe, if you had a sense of humor, you would of drawn an ascii picture of a gun after the last lines, or maybe a knife, or-- even better-- a needle, for example: ________________________________________________________________________ But you asked me. So what’s my answer? This: |==[][][][][][]----- ***HEROIN & SPEED MIXED WITH PROZAC*** (and freud would cry, jung would sigh, pharmaceutical companies would celebrate as we all bask in the age of chemical therapy.) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- That's my take on it... I know you won't like my reaction, my comment, my arrogance, my brash bitter humor or the sarcastic irony that pours out from me, BUT!!! never-the-less i am compelled to dish it out, much like a lawyer delivering ones divorce papers with anthrax soon mistaken for cocaine. Its ok to be insane, its ok, its ok, I FEEL YOUR PAIN. Good day. No Vote.
Re: Don't Love Me Anymore by emilyowey	19-Jun-04/11:21 PM
Nag, nag, nag, nag. Wanna party with Clint Eastwood and some Hells Angels out in the Arizona desert, right by route 69 and the devils path? We're gonna barbecue with an indian guide and a pound of peyote to boost after the shrooms wear off, and maybe we'll be indulgent in our stupor and spray up some graffito over these brown, dusty, dull rocks-- grand canyons need some fuckin color duntcha think? I do. What do you say? You down? Eh? I could hook you up with a Harley Punk too since your all down on love, love,-- I'll do the drugs, you handle the emotion, K?.
Re: Restraint by ThoughtfulSoul	19-Jun-04/11:28 PM
The other-side is said to be a reflection of the life that one has lived. In that case, this dark fellow? Is utterly fucked. But I'm not dead, so what the hell do I know? Nothing. Thats why I'm so god-damn good. Yeah, and red wine coats my lips that hang so vain so vain as I slice up a fatal vein, between snorts of cocaine, the skies dark... maybe it'll rain. But what do I know? Nothing. --Here, have a seven, I'm in a good mood, fuck it all--
Re: Control by MakenzieNy	19-Jun-04/11:35 PM
There is a solution that has been known to work, if one has a spine.. Leave. And go get the guy you paid the mail catalogue for, don't try to get the refund-- trust me. It's not fucking worth it. Lucky Seven, and it's Vegas honey.
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Jun-04/4:57 PM
First I'm left thinking, "this could of been haiku'd or shortened." Then I thought, "Now why the hell is he on the damned floor? fainted? drunk? 'floored' perhaps?" and rhyming seems somewhat forced.. and no matter how hard I try, I can't see anything that I like in this one.. sorry. Plus it reminds me of youthful self-pity and the whiny days of being fourteen... and thats unpleasant, to put it mildly, since I'm guilty of having danced in it. Thank god it was then and not a day later.. Don't take my vote to heart or get, you know, offended? Wouldn't want to get boiled up over this.. though I've steamed for less, it gets boring. Blessed with zero.
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Jun-04/5:18 PM
Simple and so true. But the horus bit? looks like a desperate attempt to be funny.. but fuck it, thats like your obbligato-- it wouldn't feel right without it.. for some odd completely senseless reason. Take the nine, and fly, fly, fly away.
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Jun-04/2:49 PM
Not too bad, though it lacks some vigor and could have been shortened and worded better, it's worthy of a seven.
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Jun-04/3:19 PM
Such a thing is lost only when one believes that it is unrecoverable. Blessed with eight.
Re: Skuld Resurrected by SupremeDreamer	23-Jun-04/11:03 PM
Well, I've taken into consideration the only two suggestions for a title, and have decided to use a hybrid of both.. sort of. Behold its new title: Skuld Resurrected. (Skuld is the Norse goddess of fate, future.. seems that I'm having a sudden flare for mythology these days.) Any objections or other reactions are welcomed.