Re: Frozen Angel by Ranger	18-Dec-02/7:42 AM
there are some lovely passages here, but some of your word choices, i disagree with. so much talk about 'heart' and 'timeless' makes it feel worn. also, i am not sure what the resolution is. i am assuming that the 'frozen angel' is a cursed lover? am i correct?
Re: The North Wind by Ranger	18-Dec-02/7:46 AM
i think the low scores are due to the fact that you have basically strung together a load of cliches. the rhyme feels forced; at first, given what you were trying to say, i thought that maybe you shouldn't try to rhyme it, but then i saw you were going for a lyric--and the rhyme still feels forced. try saying this in your own words, not with a dozen catch phrases you have heard over and over again. does that help at all?
Re: The North Wind by Ranger	18-Dec-02/7:46 AM
and why did you call it the north wind anyway?
Re: Writers Resume' by wordsy	18-Dec-02/7:58 AM
elude.
Re: Holding On by Katie2	18-Dec-02/8:22 AM
line breaks, babycakes!
Re: 68 by darby pyn	18-Dec-02/8:41 AM
yours is always so hard an edge. percussive. i like the end.
Re: fa11ing by Bill Z Bub	18-Dec-02/7:33 PM
what changed?
regarding some deleted poem...	18-Dec-02/7:36 PM
fruit or frui?
regarding some deleted poem...	19-Dec-02/6:38 AM
i'm not sure what you mean here: Mother in me, she alone has the attributes.
regarding some deleted poem...	19-Dec-02/6:54 AM
ah! gazania! such beautiful patterns and colors--each different! and, responsive to the warmth and light of the sun, folding herself up at night, demurely. excellent choice! and iris--delicate, fragrant, so temporary. nice. 3rd to last line--should it be 'now' instead of 'know'?
regarding some deleted poem...	21-Dec-02/9:28 PM
i like your explanation. as far as i'm concerned, this is the crux of the piece: Yes I pulled this sword out of the stone for you Now watch me, as I use it to run you clear through. It all comes down to this it all hangs on that
Re: RMAED by deep-as-a-puddle	21-Dec-02/9:44 PM
although this sounds like a pleasant diversion, i'll pass.
Re: One by adrenalize	21-Dec-02/9:53 PM
yeah. good idea. make love not war. why can't we all just get along? buck up, little camper, every cloud has a silver lining. here, have one point for each unoriginal stanza.
Re: Skin, Bone, Flesh & Blood by scitz	21-Dec-02/9:57 PM
um, weren't you already "skin, bone, flesh and blood"? or did i miss something?
regarding some deleted poem...	21-Dec-02/9:58 PM
um, no, it won't. but for your sake, i hope i'm wrong.
regarding some deleted poem...	21-Dec-02/10:00 PM
leave p&k (journalist) alone. he didn't touch her. oh, yeah, sorry for your loss. have a nice score for your poem. maybe that will ease the pain a little.
Re: Legend by ThoughtfulSoul	21-Dec-02/10:05 PM
nope. sorry. you were correct: your heart has been turned to the color of nightfall.
Re: Laughing all the way to the playground by w~* ATHENA *~w	23-Dec-02/7:22 AM
what exactly do you mean to do by posting others' work as your own? anyone who wanted to read this can go here: http://www.bibble.org/misc/thefish.html to read <i>Misc: The Fish</i> By Marianne Moore
Re: strange beds (1983) by Bill Z Bub	23-Dec-02/8:02 AM
like it
Re: Foreplay by INTRANSIT	23-Dec-02/8:16 AM
almost there...