| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
strange beds (1983) (Free verse) by Bill Z Bub Her parent's bedroom,
I assume,
from the smell
of stale perfume.
A charge, a socket
surging. Thin and
bruised from play
in those high summer
days, with her sister's
boyfriend's praise.
She jumped
to try
and pin me down.
And the bed collapsed.
Then we ran.
Up the ladder:
Question
Down the ladder:
Tom & Jerry
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.6666665
Posted: December 22, 2002 7:40 PM PST; Last modified: January 12, 2003 7:51 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.4482355 Overall Rank: 2930 Comments:
[n/a]
Bachus @ 24.126.113.154
|
22-Dec-02/8:43 PM
|
Reply
i almost don't wanna see that last sentence. i thought is was perfect up until that ummm. think on that then i'll come back and vote later, but i'll probably will give it a ten, just for the last stanza alone(not including last sentence) read that bad boy ten times out loud by itself. lol. strong strudel filler batman. how well do you know razorgrin.?
***9** your a talent Mr Z.
like it
Cool. I like the last line, but maybe i'm just raving mad. I don't know Mr.Bub, bachus. not to my knowledge, at least
S-3 cornfuses me a bit. I am getting young lust from it though.
nicely done. solid 9.
Sorry, i've been just missing you lately.9
needs more
300 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
