regarding some deleted poem...	23-Dec-02/8:38 AM
i think you should end it like this: sit on my face so i can lick, bitch.
Re: The Coming Light by poetandknowit	23-Dec-02/9:23 PM
i know about the waiting for that light. if p&k is mr winter for the mountains, then i am mrs for clinging desperately to the shortening nights, until the land is greened. this is a poem about hope and despair, in the simplest of metaphors: light and dark.
Re: Rewrite of a goof poem. by INTRANSIT	24-Dec-02/5:32 PM
i like the orignal better too. merry christmas to yoooo!
Re: Little Johnie's Jihad by <{Baba^Yaga}>	24-Dec-02/5:35 PM
and joe strummer's dead, so there's no more rockin' the casbah. fuckit. merry jihad, h. xo, z
Re: For Horus by INTRANSIT	24-Dec-02/6:53 PM
i've got this terrible feeling of deja vu... well done, mockingbird.
Re: Wrong by Sugarbbybuttrfly	24-Dec-02/6:56 PM
you have a yeast infection, and PMS. see your local chemist for some OTC relief. everyone will thank you.
Re: Waiting by Sugarbbybuttrfly	24-Dec-02/6:56 PM
typos tiepoes ti-poas
Re: Garden of confusion by Sugarbbybuttrfly	24-Dec-02/6:58 PM
good thing he didn't take your womb too. then you'd be in serious shit.
regarding some deleted poem...	24-Dec-02/7:00 PM
better still. but a falcon and a fog? they are at different metaphorical ends of the spectrum. did you mean to do that?
regarding some deleted poem...	25-Dec-02/8:15 PM
S1: L5--del. 'much' L12--'nor' becomes 'no' S2: would there be tweeds among the matrons? a fleeting favorite, perhaps, but so unchic! S3: L12--virtuoso of the bon mot? champion, connoisseur? 'regnat o'er bon mots'? L13--'and careless elegance' (del. 'a') S4: L4 'marks' (-ing) minor, petty stuff. very emphatically done. esp. like the multi-entendre of the last line. rock on, dewd.
Re: Things by Quarton	26-Dec-02/12:24 PM
i'm on the fence here, because i believe in what you are saying, but i don't know that it work in this form. i believe that animals are sentient, and suffer. i believe that factory farming dehumanizes us, as much as it disregards the value of life. i see the yellow-crated chicken trucks going by, full and unsheltered at 75 mph in this cold, and i realize that this is not considered unkind. i look around a little--do some reading, and i become a vegetarian for a few years. i lapse, and justify it as 'acknowledging that i am part of the food chain.' and i used to be against hunting. now, i feel like it's the most humane way to get meat. i just don't like to think about it. no one does. but there must be a way to be what i am without contributing to the suffering. please tell me there is. there is, isn't there?
Re: Phillip by w~* ATHENA *~w	26-Dec-02/8:35 PM
Artist: Kendra Smith Album: Five Ways of Disappearing Song: Valley of the morning sunhttp://www.lyrics.jp/lyrics/K000700010009.asp
Re: your voice soothes me in the dark by rockinindividual	26-Dec-02/8:46 PM
awww...
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Dec-02/11:13 PM
this is a phenomenal image: And what was control would fall Like mercury to the ground but, i hate this line: I am a simple gal bringing on a testy madness it's out of character with the rest of the poem, i think. there are a couple of other places where the unevenness shows as well. you create magnificent visuals, and then throw in some homespun, and it loses its magic. see what i mean, mrs.g?
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Dec-02/11:26 PM
so, very, many, commas, interrupt, the, flow, of, this, and, make, it feel, like, a, list, poem. and it is not. it's a nicely concocted metaphor for pain--although the maggots are a bit of a stretch: freshly spurting blood does not maggots produce--they imple a length of time has passed, which it clearly has not, because the action of this poem happens in an instant. also, i take issue with her 'spitting' out the words. wouldn't she be treacly-sweet, just to twist the blade a little deeper? with some minor refinements, this could be superb.
Re: plain by blackball	27-Dec-02/11:39 PM
L1 &L2--you don't need both 'by myself' and 'solitary'. L4: change to 'as days fluttered past' i believe that's what p&k and h8 are suggesting, and i agree.
Re: frontage by xanthippe	27-Dec-02/11:50 PM
give me something i can hold on to
Re: broken nail by blackball	27-Dec-02/11:52 PM
what does the primal clawing have to do with the street lamp's light? can you please make a nice neat package out of this one?
Re: solitorus by glittalogik	27-Dec-02/11:54 PM
freshly said, but feels unfinished
Re: im playing basketball by rockinindividual	27-Dec-02/11:58 PM
i would like to see more basketball argot in this poem. i want you to name sports stuff, and with each slamdunk, or 3pointshot, or whatever--you erase a little bit more of the weight of the anger. balance the scales of action and reaction. you dig?