| Re: A Short Letter by Ranger |
28-Dec-02/12:07 AM |
no way. they seem smooth at night. in the morning is when you brainsmack yourself and groan, jeez, what was i thinkin'?
you were drinkin' not thinkin', my friend.
that being said, this is sweetly done.
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| Re: what is he doing?? by xanthippe |
28-Dec-02/12:10 AM |
second to last line: "let's choose"
you need the apostrophe.
and that's about it.
how do i describe this poem?
pure. willing. complete.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
28-Dec-02/12:48 AM |
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hey p&k, is he saying that stan rice was the marquis de sade? (i don't speak portugese)
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
28-Dec-02/8:19 AM |
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better. the last stanza--actually, the first line of it--it's leaden. the rest of it steps so rapidly, so lightly.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
28-Dec-02/8:21 AM |
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oh heironymus, this is lovely!
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
29-Dec-02/5:26 PM |
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hah! even better than a triangle!
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
29-Dec-02/6:58 PM |
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i seem to remember liking it better before. what has changed?
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| Re: Knowledge of Porridge by Sonic Tonic |
29-Dec-02/7:38 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
29-Dec-02/7:39 PM |
what, no bears???
GO BEARS!!!
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
29-Dec-02/7:39 PM |
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| Re: Blues by Christof |
30-Dec-02/11:39 AM |
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this is so...well, literal. for you, especially.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
30-Dec-02/1:38 PM |
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caducus--i think you mean 'breath bated'--as in the shortened form of 'abated'--unless there was chum involved...
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
31-Dec-02/1:13 PM |
i guess you won't be needing that barbeque sauce i sent you then. damn!
happy new year, -=Dark_Angel=- !
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| Re: Rant by blkarak |
1-Jan-03/6:42 PM |
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| Re: Star Wars theme by Myte342 |
1-Jan-03/7:13 PM |
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these aren't the droids we're looking for.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
1-Jan-03/7:14 PM |
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take it someplace, now that you have a lift
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| Re: Kernel by anitawit |
2-Jan-03/11:37 AM |
can you refine those last 3 lines--make them a little denser, more toward the kernel, if you will?
good idea.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
2-Jan-03/11:39 AM |
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how does the title relate?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
2-Jan-03/11:40 AM |
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to hard a try at similie in those first few lines. good thought, but you've grown since you wrote it, so why not revise?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
2-Jan-03/9:00 PM |
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even better than before. you honed it.
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