| regarding some deleted poem... |
4-Mar-03/11:04 AM |
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poetry is not a sleeping form. beware of the overstated.
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| Re: Homecomings by Nicholas Jones |
4-Mar-03/11:11 AM |
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nicholas--there's unplanted topsoil here, until the last 4 lines. stop telling me. you've fallen off here. use your eyes to write with, your nose, your fingertips and toes.
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| Re: The Drunkest ever by horus8 |
4-Mar-03/12:52 PM |
must you end it without a match?
or is the pass-out implied here? more, more, more.
(S1--roll, not 'role'?)
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| Re: The Eskimo and the fish by INTRANSIT |
4-Mar-03/1:43 PM |
hey, intransit.
some questions for you:
do inuits chant when fishing? does this scare the fish? because of these nagging thoughts, i have issues with the way you have changed the poem. you have taken something pritine and clear, and thrown sediment into it. the chant is too sentimental, i think. if spiritualistic contemplation is your aim, change "auger" back to "augur", and go from there.
your second chant changes him from automaton to thinker, which is not a bad shift, but, i think, shows too much intrusion of mind for a piece that focus on rote. it's a start of a shift, but not an entire shift.
okay, the thoughts came out full formed. trim them.
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| Re: Amputee by INTRANSIT |
4-Mar-03/1:47 PM |
keen-edged hurt, here.
did you know that these regrow? they will look and feel different--maybe a different color or shape--they will have different sensitivities. but they will serve you well, as you will them. it's not over. step into the current. get washed away in the whitewater. it's the only way to fly.
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| Re: Amputee by INTRANSIT |
4-Mar-03/1:48 PM |
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p.s.--this is one of your best.
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| Re: The Tragic Life of a Stinky Cheese Man by bunniesnangels |
4-Mar-03/1:52 PM |
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i'll take danish bleu over cookies any day.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
5-Mar-03/10:41 AM |
i k ow we t ied. .
s iff niff bli f.
here's a shaved peach for your troubles, troubled one. oops.
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| Re: Something for Lynn by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
5-Mar-03/10:44 AM |
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shit. bleed tears all over me, and not a kleenex in situ. still negative? good. have a 9.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
5-Mar-03/11:48 AM |
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do they eat asian pears in asia, or just in NYC and cali?
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| Re: Prometheus sang for vultures by horus8 |
5-Mar-03/12:29 PM |
yes:
dodos. hawks. pigeons.
no:
peacocks. chickens. dinosaurs.
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| Re: Text Messages Sent by blueENDyellow |
6-Mar-03/12:00 PM |
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how does this have anything to do with text messages?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
6-Mar-03/12:01 PM |
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couldn't the suicide bit be last, so at least we have some hope?
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| Re: One More Mile by marvelis |
6-Mar-03/12:02 PM |
stop
rhyming
NOW.
go to vegas. loosen up.
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| Re: A Losing Streak by Jigg |
6-Mar-03/12:04 PM |
what happens if you duct tape buttered toast, butter side up, of course, to a cat, and drop it off the top of a building?
do you create an anti-gravity field? didn't someone try this once?
the cat HAS to land on its feet. the toast HAS to land butter-side down.
maybe -=Dark_Angel=- can step in, and offer a ray of light, here? or at least some sort of conditional statement?
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| Re: Aries, the God of war by Shardik |
6-Mar-03/12:19 PM |
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| Re: Aries, the God of war by Shardik |
6-Mar-03/1:57 PM |
better. too many throw-away words for a haiku, though:
ram horns crash, ____ ____
whet stones sharply grind ____ ____
Mars in retrograde.
get on it son!!!
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| Re: Sofia by daniella |
6-Mar-03/8:31 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
7-Mar-03/7:06 AM |
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i thought you pitched a tent 'most every day?
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| Re: To Lesley by Bahookie |
7-Mar-03/7:06 AM |
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that's it? a little ritual scarring, and you just walk away? WTF?
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