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The Drunkest ever (Free verse) by horus8
When I drink I do not think Of no one but my self You'll raise your toasts with foamy boasts and claim it is to health but I drink to die To role my head back in my eyes Documenting lies within a parade of sighs. Ice float foundations Greasy cold sides Straws that are too thin Umbrellas that cover only my middle finger Bathrooms that make you piss outside. I use to care that you thunk me drunk? but unfortunately I can't remember who in the hell you are anyway. It was on the barstool that could not spin all the way around that i gathered enough copper and off blue fuzz from my leftist pocket to calmly ask you again for another in which i did and so did you and then it was gone. On the way out i noticed the flickering of a mystery drink dancing by itself in the corner it winked at me and bid me come. I laughed and went home. Puke stained shag carpets Kareoke dreadful wallflowers A cigarette machine that hates my guts Robot bartender with dead eye Flammable material every where

Up the ladder: fragment
Down the ladder: ~Witchcraft~

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 122
.. 20
.. 40
.. 10
.. 00
.. 11
.. 00
.. 20
.. 01
.. 12
.. 24

Arithmetic Mean: 6.2285714
Weighted score: 6.2281594
Overall Rank: 946
Posted: March 4, 2003 11:49 AM PST; Last modified: March 4, 2003 11:49 AM PST
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Comments:
[10] DurtKL @ 68.23.217.176 | 4-Mar-03/11:58 AM | Reply
there are some spelling errors and grammar mistakes...how does a bathroom make you piss outside...and if it's a 'room' how is it outside...
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 > DurtKL | 4-Mar-03/12:04 PM | Reply
You are an idiot. Please don't comment on my work if you're stupid, okay? Picture this... the bathroom? is so fucking dirty and stinky? it makes you piss outside instead. YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY TEN, and have never been to a real hole in the wall bar. Every mistake in this poem is purposeful. now that said. You know nothing of poetry don't make yourself look like an idiot under my creations please, thankyou i have work to do this morning other then making you go duh.
[10] DurtKL @ 68.23.217.176 > horus8 | 4-Mar-03/12:47 PM | Reply
my bad
finals week...all nighter

don't spaz out over a fucking 4
or ur prof career will be hell to yourself
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 > DurtKL | 4-Mar-03/1:26 PM | Reply
Durt, i'm a poet. I don't have a fucking professional career. I write what i see. i say what i want. i believe in myself enough to bring it all to me until it compresses me into nothing. i am a poet. not a dentist. i am the element of change the remains always changing. i am evolution. i absorb like sponge bob. you know not the power of my perfect smile, sir.
[10] DurtKL @ 68.23.217.176 > horus8 | 4-Mar-03/1:39 PM | Reply
haha ok
peace
[n/a] deleted user @ 12.219.155.182 > DurtKL | 5-Jul-03/12:03 PM | Reply
He don't like you to 'peace' him, so he told me.
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 > DurtKL | 4-Mar-03/1:33 PM | Reply
Also; if you think it was about the four? You are wrong. Ranking has no value to me other then to watch others need for it.

Although, if it could be ranked this poem is pi'. Giving it a four only validates the genius of the pina colona versus the long island ice pee. Thanks again.
[n/a] deleted user @ 12.219.155.182 > horus8 | 5-Jul-03/11:57 AM | Reply
"Ranking has no value to me other then to watch others need for it." - Bullshit - I suppose that is why you have sooooooooooo many names?
[n/a] deleted user @ 12.219.155.182 > DurtKL | 5-Jul-03/12:02 PM | Reply
Don't apologize for being right. Everyone seems to be afraid of this bad-mannered-aSShole.
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 > deleted user | 9-Jul-03/12:26 PM | Reply
Hackkneed poodle faced lap snorkel.
[n/a] deleted user @ 12.219.155.182 > horus8 | 5-Jul-03/11:59 AM | Reply
Anyone is an idiot who doesn't think your shit doesn't stink.
You are no poet. You could be, maybe, if you learned to take constructive criticism and stop lashing out at people.

What the f*ck if the matter with you anyhow? Are you just plain evil?

You really shouldn't piss a bipolar off.
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 > deleted user | 9-Jul-03/12:25 PM | Reply
Hack.
[3] <~> @ 69.0.52.84 > horus8 | 9-Jul-03/9:46 PM | Reply
should he charm a bipolar? cause i got that going with OCD, and paranoid, per official documents.


maggie, i wish i'd never
seen your faaaa-ace...
[3] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 | 4-Mar-03/12:52 PM | Reply
must you end it without a match?

or is the pass-out implied here? more, more, more.
(S1--roll, not 'role'?)
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 > <~> | 4-Mar-03/1:20 PM | Reply
Yes. Role is also missed purposely.

How are you these days? My phones back on, so.
[3] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 > horus8 | 4-Mar-03/1:24 PM | Reply
okay then.
february made me shiver...i made it through, though. march's a buster too. fuck. i need break out of a big ass rut, h. i need a fucking shove. or maybe a shovel.
[10] Shardik @ 24.126.113.154 > <~> | 4-Mar-03/5:03 PM | Reply
The thought of returning to flick in a match real quick is quite tempting though. lol. thanks, i'll use that for part 'the dos'.
[10] god'swife @ 209.179.137.144 | 4-Mar-03/2:29 PM | Reply
Brilliant. 10
[5] emeraldeyes @ 198.247.178.137 | 4-Mar-03/6:07 PM | Reply
yes.
[7] THE GOD OF DEATH @ 152.163.188.228 | 5-Mar-03/1:58 AM | Reply
Ok... overall pretty good. Creative rhymes and some really good description. But... if you're gonna use meter, be consistent. If you read it, you expect some more meter. Then again, it could be part of your theme. *shrug* Some of the rhymes are good but too clustered. It's just too much to absorb. The continuity of rhyme and rhythm aren't there but work well where employed. And again, continuity with punctuation is kinda questionable.
nix what i said about the descrip... it was great. anywho.;
btw... yeah you're a poet but you don't need to be a snob about it.
[8] lastobelus @ 217.226.19.245 > THE GOD OF DEATH | 9-Mar-03/5:54 PM | Reply
The meter 'n' rhyme slips away as you go deeper into the drunk.

duh.
[9] Bill Z Bub @ 24.112.224.232 | 5-Mar-03/8:56 AM | Reply
Grimey, like a shuffle in the downtown sludge, open bardoors breathing the stink of liquor
and piss
and old men, their pockmarcked skin flaking hopeless desire.

"Dead is the drunkest that you can get,
but I haven't been that drunk yet."
-Martin Tielli
[10] INTRANSIT @ 152.163.188.72 | 5-Mar-03/5:02 PM | Reply
Why the hell not.
[n/a] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 | 5-Mar-03/5:30 PM | Reply
Can i just say fuck wood that though they think you me you aint. you this pussy.

http://gangbox.com/mp3/The%20first%20prize.mp3

Don't lie to yourself fuck nob.
pasty note number 5,896 from the mountains' of madness.
[8] OneFingerAnswer @ 216.138.10.3 | 6-Mar-03/4:00 AM | Reply
I like it lots. I don't understand the last line's relevence but I'm sure you'd be happy to explain. By the way, is there an instant messanger program that you use? No need to put your sn up. Just tell me the program and I'll tell you mine. I'd like to ask you for some help with a piece that isn't even ready for this site yet. Mostly because it's more of an idea than a piece.
[10] DurtKL @ 68.75.22.92 | 7-Jun-03/12:50 PM | Reply
i reread this today and i like it a lot
great fucking poem
it's now a 4 + 6
[n/a] baughworm @ 216.196.164.143 | 9-Jun-03/10:04 PM | Reply
but ?UNFORTUNATLEY? I can't remember
who in the hell you are anyway.

it sounds as though its more fortunate than not.

Otherwise I love this poem. VERY real. Great work.
[8] Kitch @ 62.105.88.10 | 12-Jun-03/1:48 AM | Reply
I drink to die !

Probably the most apt and honest line of drinking I have ever read. Your nuts but I gotta love ya 8
[3] <~> @ 69.0.52.84 | 9-Jul-03/10:03 PM | Reply
is everyone OFF for the summer???
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