THE GOD OF DEATH5 Mar 2003

Ok... overall pretty good. Creative rhymes and some really good description. But... if you're gonna use meter, be consistent. If you read it, you expect some more meter. Then again, it could be part of your theme. *shrug* Some of the rhymes are good but too clustered. It's just too much to absorb. The continuity of rhyme and rhythm aren't there but work well where employed. And again, continuity with punctuation is kinda questionable.