regarding some deleted poem...	9-Apr-03/10:08 PM
Very well done. -9-
Re: Descent into Madness by thepinkbunnyofdoom	14-Apr-03/8:59 PM
Nice visuals, try and find some more words for screaming though. The only other line i dont like is the "spontaneous combustion" one. It just doesnt fit. Other than that its pretty good, redo it and redo it, to get rid of some excess words that bog down the story, have a -7-
Re: if tommorow never comes by junkyarddog13	14-Apr-03/9:50 PM
Good stuff, -9-
Re: AIDS in a Glass by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	21-Apr-03/10:29 PM
After I read this poem and reading all of the comments I investigated for myself the origin of aids. It was actually a bacteria found in monkeys in south Africa, you wanna know how it came to America? Some sicko did a monkey in the bum, contracted the disease and then did his gay friend in the bum who then turned around and did about 25 others gay guys in the bum. Before you knew it gay people were havin sex with women durring their threesomes and gave it to them. So when the infected women did it with straight guys they got it too. All becuz some dude down in Africa got lonely and raped a monkey in the bum, now THAT is sick and disturbing. If all you people really think this is a horrible disease then you wouldnt stick up for gay people, what they do is unnatural and debase, more aids are passed between gay lovers then anyother source. I find it horrible that innocent people contract this disease and have to live with it. But that doesnt happen exponentially, what does happen alot is gay guys doing other gay guys up the bum. I cant for the life of me understand why anyone would think that homosexuality is normal, IT ISNT, waste comes out of your bum, a bum was not designed to have a wiener in it. What exactly does a penis in the bum do? Nothing! A penis goes in a vagina!!! Its that simple, you do it for making babies and populating the planet. IF the whole world were gay it would die and nothing would last very long. Two men cannot have kids, all they can do is have gay sex and spread diseases. Homosexuality is a mental disease, you are not born with it you slowly become it from what you do. PEOPLE think before you stand up for gay people, they dont need you to stand up for them, what they need is counseling becuase they are screwed up. They need love, just like any other person with problems.
Re: AIDS in a van by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	21-Apr-03/10:30 PM
After I read this poem and reading all of the comments I investigated for myself the origin of aids. It was actually a bacteria found in monkeys in south Africa, you wanna know how it came to America? Some sicko did a monkey in the bum, contracted the disease and then did his gay friend in the bum who then turned around and did about 25 others gay guys in the bum. Before you knew it gay people were havin sex with women durring their threesomes and gave it to them. So when the infected women did it with straight guys they got it too. All becuz some dude down in Africa got lonely and raped a monkey in the bum, now THAT is sick and disturbing. If all you people really think this is a horrible disease then you wouldnt stick up for gay people, what they do is unnatural and debase, more aids are passed between gay lovers then anyother source. I find it horrible that innocent people contract this disease and have to live with it. But that doesnt happen exponentially, what does happen alot is gay guys doing other gay guys up the bum. I cant for the life of me understand why anyone would think that homosexuality is normal, IT ISNT, waste comes out of your bum, a bum was not designed to have a wiener in it. What exactly does a penis in the bum do? Nothing! A penis goes in a vagina!!! Its that simple, you do it for making babies and populating the planet. IF the whole world were gay it would die and nothing would last very long. Two men cannot have kids, all they can do is have gay sex and spread diseases. Homosexuality is a mental disease, you are not born with it you slowly become it from what you do. PEOPLE think before you stand up for gay people, they dont need you to stand up for them, what they need is counseling becuase they are screwed up. They need love, just like any other person with problems.
Re: ~What do I do~ by ~Ashley Baby Girl~	22-Apr-03/9:14 PM
I feel like that all the time, -0-
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Apr-03/9:31 PM
I like the beginning but the rest doesnt really seem to follow, maybe you could throw in somthin like this I am escape from from your 9-5 ways. Just a fix for the saddest of days. Paradise isnt as it seems, In your lovely two car six figure dream. Somthin like that, anyways decent poem -7-
regarding some deleted poem...	26-Apr-03/8:08 PM
This would sound cool if you did it real fast and punk. Its the basic pretty girl doesnt realize im in love with her. But it still has some redeeming qualities. -6-
Re: Death Of A Rose (New draft) by Mr Pig	27-Apr-03/2:51 PM
Petals from zuzu's hand its not such a wonderful life Curse the prawnes that did this Now THAT is a beatiful haiku, even though its 2 slys over the seventeen limit, but hey if Mr pig can get away with it so can I.
Re: Ode to a Sock by JakeBike	28-Apr-03/5:48 PM
I love the word odiferous. so i gave it a ten, not ten for the poem just ten for the word, no more no less and the vote shall be ten for odiferous and nothing else but ten, Have i made myself clear?.... ten
Re: Fighting erosion by INTRANSIT	28-Apr-03/10:16 PM
When I read poetry I take 3 steps. 1. I read it over and listen for the overall sound and feeling of the poem. If it makes an enjoyable read the first time without makeing your head hurt then its already decent, which I might add, your poem does. 2. I try and get the deeper meanings of the words and the way they are formed together, such as "Wastes deposited deep inside" I love that line. Im really envious that i didnt think of it first, that is assumeing I have the capacity to create somthing like that, which I do not think at this point in time i have. 3. I read it over again listening to the rythm and recognizing the meanings in each line and seeing the mental picture as i read each one. Your poem made each read enjoyable. I absolutely love it. Keep up the good work. -10-
Re: kruder&dorfmeister by rockinindividual	28-Apr-03/10:26 PM
I like the feeling of going with the music and all but i could never get into that coffee house crap. Like everything I think this could be better if you took a couple more looks at it and made some adjustment, I dunno somthing else is holding this back and im not sure what. I have to think about it more. but for know here is a 4. P.S. I really wish you would add more to the last poem you did, it started going somewhere and then it ended I was dissapointed I wanted to hear the rest of it, whenever you finish it i have a ten waiting for you, I mean come on, with a beginning like that you can write anything.
Re: Dumb Ideas by thepinkbunnyofdoom	28-Apr-03/10:33 PM
I know how you feel, I got burned pretty bad last weekend, it was one of those "you did somthing wrong but im not going to tell you what you did just to drive you crazy" MAN I HATE THAT, but anyways, cool poem, I think it could be better with some reconstructing , some of your lines sound kinda awkward at first glance. for now a 7 just cause i can relate, if you ever decide to redo this ill definatly give it a reread.
Re: Yay for Unspeakable Evil! by razorgrin	28-Apr-03/10:35 PM
i dont really like the last line it breaks the mood. -4-
Re: Torvald, the Dwarven Toast-Smith by razorgrin	28-Apr-03/10:40 PM
I always love reading mindless poetry. -7-
Re: ~What if~ by ~Ashley Baby Girl~	28-Apr-03/10:55 PM
If all of this happened to me? In this order? I would ask the gods why they saw it fit to grant me probably the stupidest meaningless worthless friendship to an idiot. This has happened to me before. It was this stupid girl who changed her mind about everything every freekin minute she was alive. Somehow in the midst of her busy life of mindchanging she decided to be my friend. Aparently I wasnt part of this decision. I had seen her before talking to herself and her eyes twitching from side to side. I thought at first glance she was handicapped and i pitied her, like any loving soul would do. But then when I started recieving random phone calls from what I thought was a girl, asking me if I did or did not like cheese and other mindless things, such as "what if".I began to realize that "handicapped wasnt the right word. I just kept saying, what if doesnt matter. what matters is here, now. But still she persisted. I was given notes from odd looking little fat girls with their lying t-shirts that said "angel" and "hottie". I was crakin up, I had no idea who was stalking me. I was afraid to go to sleep, I was afraid id get raped in the night. I still to this day on ocassion receive the odd note here and there. I dont even bother to read them, and I never wonder what if. -0-
Re: ~What do I do~ by ~Ashley Baby Girl~	28-Apr-03/11:06 PM
Heres what you do. Stop writing simple thoughts. Look deeper into whats going on in your life. Listen to what people say and try and figure out why they said it, how they said it, if they lied. Just one sentence from someone can give me enough ammunition to write a whole poem. Dont make the same mistake i did when I first started writing, thinking that putting your thoughts and emotions on paper without any pilot or any direction is poetry, its not. Its called writing your meaningless emotions on paper. Some more advice, learn some vocab. But if you really love writing and you think you can be good at poetry then do not give up, listen to what people say. Theyr are some really good poets on this site, horus8, godswife, Mr.pig, billzbub. If you write somthing worthy of actually reading than they will tell you. -0-
Re: Smack Crack by w~* ATHENA *~w	28-Apr-03/11:08 PM
This is the stupidest poem ive read all day. -0-
Re: moments lost in adversity by brazen	28-Apr-03/11:13 PM
Im not so sure you could live by the ignorance of someones lies, unless you yourself were dumb enough to live by a lie that was ignorant. The first thing that comes to mind is following a religion that requires you to eat dog crap five times a day or the earth would swallow you whole. Now that would be living by the ignorance of someones lies. But anyways I liked the poem, -6-
regarding some deleted poem...	26-May-03/7:45 PM
hmmm....i havent been on the site in awhile....but this certainly brought me back, not sure what i think of this...quite honored someone would make a poem about me even if the are comparing me to a psycho...hmm i give a 0 just because i had to pee really bad but i wanted to finish reading, now ive nearly soiled myself. thanx alot