Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

Descent into Madness (Other) by thepinkbunnyofdoom
Whispering Talking Shouting Voices surround me. Screams, Screams, It feels as If the very walls Are Screaming. I open my eyes and to My own surprise They are. Lips Down the corridor as far as the eye can see and perhaps beyond. Their words merge together and Become nothing but a wave of babble. As I feel my ears going numb there is silence. I have gone deaf or perhaps mad but either way I can’t hear them anymore. So I try reading the lips one by one and I am forced to turn my head, even I hear him. He has come. The Judge wearing his midnight cowl and the blindfold but every step is as loud as a cannon blast. He has silenced them but not for long. They begin whispering, and for my own sanity, I run toward him, but he says “your Day has not yet come”. So in a blinding flash, I see every word as the chorus once again begins its eerie babbling, and as I begin to collapse to the floor, I see there is none. What I’m standing on is literally the ink of my every written word. There is no pressure beneath my feet and I begin to scream. Above me is sea of eyes. They barely blink at my outrage and utter confusion. As I huddle closed into only myself, trying to ignore the very fabric of existence, I can feel the eyes growing hungry, and one tone growing above all others, sounds from the broken voices. Angery shouts and the need to devour anything that stands out, the walls begin to shake and the weight of my words fades and I have nothing. The lips surround me and cut my flesh with their tongues. Words with which before only stung now rip the very marrow from my bones. All that is left is an empty skull and a lone blood cell, but like Prometheus there is no end to this hell. Once again I begin to hear the voices. First just the Whispers, then the Talking, and the Screaming, the Screaming, The VeRy WaLLS ARE SCREAMING. Then the vision returns and I can see that the words below are not mine but I am made from then. I would have begun to ponder this thought but there is silence once again. Then I hear him saying, “your Day has not yet come”. I manage to cry out, “When will this end” and his reply is “your Day has not yet come and this one is not yet done”. Then while asking myself the meaning of that in confusion I cry out "let it end" and then Once again I am eaten. As the sound grows once again from whispers I am concentrating on my words. When the eyes return I realize that I keep building myself back up but each time a little less. I barely notice as I am Judged but I yell my utter outrage. As the words consume me Still I Shout. I am reborn and from the bottom my lungs I Yell. I don’t pause for my judgment just I Scream and I Scream and I Scream. Even though I am Numb still I Cry out. My guts have stopped growing back but I Scream on, because that is all I have. Finally when my throat is dry and my voice dead and gone, All that are left are the paper thin flesh and a few bones and my face, I am Judged again. This time I take a desperate fist and tackle The unexplained Justice and Remove the hood. Only to behold with my very eyes that the woman with the might of a man was blind. Without Voice I could say nothing and so I didn’t. I could have beaten Justice till she was black and blue but It wouldn’t have changed my fate and so I helped her up and sat to await my fate when faintly I heard “sometimes justice must be pushed down before she can stand”. I stared in black confusion and listened as she decreed me free. Thus I awoke this morning in a cold sweat feeling sore and not well rested, but something inside of me felt at ease.


You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 43
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 10
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 7.3
Weighted score: 6.15
Overall Rank: 1064
Posted: April 14, 2003 6:46 PM PDT; Last modified: April 17, 2003 1:00 PM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[7] Blindproject217 @ 68.38.194.4 | 14-Apr-03/8:59 PM | Reply
Nice visuals, try and find some more words for screaming though. The only other line i dont like is the "spontaneous combustion" one. It just doesnt fit. Other than that its pretty good, redo it and redo it, to get rid of some excess words that bog down the story, have a -7-
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 24.209.19.37 > Blindproject217 | 14-Apr-03/10:58 PM | Reply
Thanks for the advice. Any and all help in making this better is more than welcome.
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 24.209.21.223 > thepinkbunnyofdoom | 28-Jun-03/11:27 PM | Reply
This as was later pointed out to me isn't really a poem. No beauty to it really. Poetic in a sense but only if you see it the right way. Its about my nightmare that I've had and still have anytime I have to choose between people or important things and its a tough decision.
[1] lunar @ 195.92.67.75 | 16-Apr-03/1:29 PM | Reply
Kinda cRaZy but then i guess thats the whole point huh?
Sometimes on this site i start to wonder how at what point does something stop being a poem and just because the writer says its a poem does that mean it actually is or is it just some words strung together?
just a thought.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.8.98 > lunar | 17-Apr-03/4:56 AM | Reply
I think it stops being a poeme when you start using phrases like "What I’m standing on is literally the ink my every written word". When that happens, you know you've run out of paper and have scribbled over the edge of your desk and onto the floor. In short, you've made a bosh. An absolute bosh.

Only a lunatic would read a poeme that started on paper, continued on desk, then finished on carpet.
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 24.209.19.37 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 17-Apr-03/12:55 PM | Reply
Glad you like it D.A.
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 24.209.19.37 > lunar | 17-Apr-03/12:51 PM | Reply
A poem(as defined in a dictionary) is 1.A verbal composition designed to convey experiences, ideas, or emotions in a vivid and imaginative way, characterized by the use of language chosen for its sound and suggestive power and by the use of literary techniques such as meter, metaphor, and rhyme.
2.A composition in verse rather than in prose.
3.A literary composition written with an intensity or beauty of language more characteristic of poetry than of prose.
4.A creation, object, or experience having beauty suggestive of poetry.
[1] lunar @ 195.92.67.75 > thepinkbunnyofdoom | 18-Apr-03/3:05 AM | Reply
Oh dark angel always knows exactly what to say - he never ceases to amaze me!
I suppose by ur definition this could either be or not be a poem since although it is "imaginative" and i guess there are metaphors, there is no rhyme to be seen, this is hardly in verse which would make it prose, im not sure of the beauty of the language or the experiance of which you are describing. Therefore i think its completely justified that i questioned the fact of it being a poem. Good day! x
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215 > lunar | 18-Apr-03/11:00 AM | Reply
It's great that you're trying to do philosophy, Lunar! A+++ for effort!!!!!!!!1
[1] lunar @ 195.92.67.75 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 19-Apr-03/4:54 AM | Reply
Do i detect a note of sarcasm there?
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 24.209.19.37 > lunar | 18-Apr-03/12:36 PM | Reply
I never said that it wasn't questionable. I was merely showing the guidelines by which I was going. The experiance I'm describing is literally a decent into madness(of which D.A. is very right this poem is by and about a lunatic), this literally is one of my nightmares, put into words, at the best of my abilities at the present, of which I apologize if it doesn't fit into a ryhming lines or neat little stanzas, or most of the other niffy little rules that most people consider to be poetic. SO FEEL FREE TO QUESTION ITS STATUS AS A POEM AND GOOD EVENING TO YOU! o
Nobody's questioning its status as a poeme. Everyone can see it isn't one. Once again, you have confused "poetry" with "prose that is sensitive and deep".
[1] lunar @ 195.92.67.75 > thepinkbunnyofdoom | 19-Apr-03/5:03 AM | Reply
I guess what im asking here is 'should pieces like this, even though they have been defined (by DA in this case) as not a 'poem' stil be submitted as one and just because something doesnt fit the convectional description of a poem does that mean it does not count as one?' I think this is a good piece of work - but im just interested at how can some of the stuff that is submitted on this site be called poetry? Im not referring to your work here because you obviously put a lot effort into urs to make them good but rather some other users who submit stuff that blatently isnt poetry and then call it just that!
Sorry if i pissed u off. x
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215 > lunar | 19-Apr-03/6:45 AM | Reply
I haven't "defined" this as not a poem. I haven't done any defining at all. You only need the vaguest notion of "poem" to see that this isn't one. Here is a proof:

1. If something is prose, it isn't poetry.
2. The above is (obviously) prose.
3. So it isn't poetry.
[1] lunar @ 195.92.67.75 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 19-Apr-03/6:50 AM | Reply
You dont like the word 'defined' do ya?! But, in this case i agree. ok?
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215 > lunar | 19-Apr-03/6:52 AM | Reply
No, I like it. You just don't understand how to use it. Also, I'm not asking whether you agree. I'm telling you a fact.
[1] lunar @ 195.92.67.75 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 19-Apr-03/7:03 AM | Reply
FINE I will now go and cry in a corner as your vast intellect is proving too much for my young mind to cope with.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215 > lunar | 19-Apr-03/7:04 AM | Reply
The only dance you shall be dancing is the hideous dance of shame. Now put on your cloggs and begin.
[1] lunar @ 195.92.67.75 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 19-Apr-03/7:12 AM | Reply
I also have no cloggs im afraid.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215 > lunar | 19-Apr-03/7:16 AM | Reply
Of course you do, my lad. Of course you do.
[1] lunar @ 195.92.67.75 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 19-Apr-03/7:19 AM | Reply
Oh so ive had a sex change now! great!
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 24.209.21.223 > lunar | 21-Apr-03/10:13 AM | Reply
Its okay I was just having a bad day.
I see what you mean there are alot of stuff here that doesn't fit the mold(to put it nicely). Its the when is a photo more than a photo question. Sorry for snapping, I shouldn't have and I apologise. o
[2] talking_goldfish @ 62.253.128.7 | 17-Apr-03/5:03 PM | Reply
No. Definitely a no.
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 24.209.19.37 > talking_goldfish | 18-Apr-03/12:37 PM | Reply
And why ever not?
[2] talking_goldfish @ 62.253.128.7 > thepinkbunnyofdoom | 19-Apr-03/4:17 PM | Reply
I happen to agree that this is merely prose, and therefore simply cannot be commented on as a poem (which is exactly what this site is asking!) If it were proseranker.com then this would indeed be viable, but as it is, this stands as a no. Definitely a no.
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 24.209.21.223 > talking_goldfish | 21-Apr-03/10:06 AM | Reply
K
:)
303 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001