on some deleted poem
16 Oct 2003, 10:35 AM
I like the ideas behind your poems. I wish the search was working bacause I'm trying to find a poem someone wrote about Brighton Beach. The contrast between this and that poem about (somewhat) similar places is interesting.
on some deleted poem
20 Oct 2003, 6:59 PM
Poetry now in hatterscope harevision! (Nice images)
A late harvest or a harvest too soon?
(I always peg you on your titles, but it's because I like where you're coming from)
A late harvest or a harvest too soon?
(I always peg you on your titles, but it's because I like where you're coming from)
on The empty room by INTRANSIT
3 Sep 2003, 12:24 AM
Doesn't sound like something Jesus would do. Must have been a bad day. Even the greatest philanthropists have their moments of self-doubt.
on some deleted poem
3 Sep 2003, 12:10 PM
heh.
on Curiously here by philthegreek
3 Sep 2003, 12:12 PM
i enjoyed "old and grey/ came the day"
on some deleted poem
3 Sep 2003, 9:51 AM
This reminds me of another story:
There is fruit stand in Barcelona along La Rambla
where a peculiar boy sells the strangest fruit. The boy has his own garden and works most of the week tending to it. Occassionally he goes to market to offer his produce for money and appreciation.
Now some of this fruit is just plain bizarre. Some of it looks bizarre but is actually quite tasty. Some looks normal but tastes quite foul. All in all, he had over a dozen varieties ranging in flavor, appearance, nourishment, and method of consumption - for surely one removes the peel from a banana, but not a strawberry.
The boy has recently developed a new type of fruit that is strange looking and very difficult to get into, but the fruit is large and the flesh )once reached) enough nourishment for several meals.
But the boy forgets
that the market is a large place
filled with other vendors
and more familiar fare
why should they stop at his stall
and even bother trying to deal with
his peculiar fruit?
Of course the locals don't stop.
And it makes the boy slightly sad
to be so good at creating the fruit
and so mediocre at presenting and selling it
------
Incidentally I think you misunderstood the wiseman's words. He said that the concept of 'I' was an illusion, not reality. It was also reality when he got up from under his tree, rubbed his head, and gave you a good old fashioned atomic wedgie.
There is fruit stand in Barcelona along La Rambla
where a peculiar boy sells the strangest fruit. The boy has his own garden and works most of the week tending to it. Occassionally he goes to market to offer his produce for money and appreciation.
Now some of this fruit is just plain bizarre. Some of it looks bizarre but is actually quite tasty. Some looks normal but tastes quite foul. All in all, he had over a dozen varieties ranging in flavor, appearance, nourishment, and method of consumption - for surely one removes the peel from a banana, but not a strawberry.
The boy has recently developed a new type of fruit that is strange looking and very difficult to get into, but the fruit is large and the flesh )once reached) enough nourishment for several meals.
But the boy forgets
that the market is a large place
filled with other vendors
and more familiar fare
why should they stop at his stall
and even bother trying to deal with
his peculiar fruit?
Of course the locals don't stop.
And it makes the boy slightly sad
to be so good at creating the fruit
and so mediocre at presenting and selling it
------
Incidentally I think you misunderstood the wiseman's words. He said that the concept of 'I' was an illusion, not reality. It was also reality when he got up from under his tree, rubbed his head, and gave you a good old fashioned atomic wedgie.
on Who are the best poets on poemranker? (A list by me) by Jeremi B. Handrinos
4 Oct 2003, 2:13 PM
(nod)
on Therapy by http://bandgeek
10 Oct 2003, 2:45 PM
Therapist or orchidess?
(...three more inches of flattop to rock my world harder... funny)
(...three more inches of flattop to rock my world harder... funny)
on Evel Knievel's last bananna split   by horus8
21 Oct 2003, 10:27 PM
Poetry is, at its best, a 'golden section' exposed. You're pretty close to winning a bronzed chambered nautilus for this one.
on some deleted poem
21 Oct 2003, 10:41 PM
Nice to imagine. Thank you.
The originality of the metaphors actually disrupts the flow slightly on the first couple reads, but after a couple reads I don't think the metaphors are anything but nice.
I think what may be a small issue is their pronounciation and how their sounds fit into the poem: e.g. buried-alive hands is a very nice descriptor but a little front loaded to mediate the spreading transmogrification.
The originality of the metaphors actually disrupts the flow slightly on the first couple reads, but after a couple reads I don't think the metaphors are anything but nice.
I think what may be a small issue is their pronounciation and how their sounds fit into the poem: e.g. buried-alive hands is a very nice descriptor but a little front loaded to mediate the spreading transmogrification.
on some deleted poem
22 Oct 2003, 9:56 AM
O portugese parece pintado fina com espanhol. Ã isto um o nascimento honesto ou um dispositivo? SchlieÃen Sie nie die Ãbersetzung ein.
on some deleted poem
22 Oct 2003, 8:59 PM
Really (really) dig the last two stanzas. The rest may be worth a look to really set up the kicker you've got at the end.
on Homecoming by http://mulberryfairy
23 Oct 2003, 11:31 PM
Pigs, Natty Light, and RJ. Sweet baby Jesus, I'm having a seizures from all the repressed memories you've unleashed!
on First Snow by http://mulberryfairy
23 Oct 2003, 11:38 PM
Yeah you like the snow now, but you'll soon have had your fill.
And we of California will be left with our eternal comfort - deprived of the joy of difference.
Maybe after not too long you'll wish you could cart it all out here for all of us to enjoy (until it melts)?
And we of California will be left with our eternal comfort - deprived of the joy of difference.
Maybe after not too long you'll wish you could cart it all out here for all of us to enjoy (until it melts)?
on rainfall saga 7 by Bill Z Bub
23 Oct 2003, 11:58 PM
Gonna need help Bill. smile 1, lure 1 , fingers 2, thundering 3, rain 5, at last 8 (intentional golden section? 1,1,2,3,5,8) but that's all I got.
on some deleted poem
24 Oct 2003, 4:05 PM
I hope that when you read this aloud to yourself you smile inside.
(I must confess to be ignorant of the background - saudi arabia? egypt?)