on some deleted poem
15 Jul 2002, 2:58 AM
Dont think the last line works but it is very powerful.
on Black Hole Soul by Red_is_life
16 Jul 2002, 1:08 AM
Look Im probably not as old as the rest of you on this site so if my poems have an adolescent theme then please forgive me for being so young.
on "to do" list:accomplished by razorgrin
16 Jul 2002, 1:11 AM
Cant see where you are going with this it sounds like something i read on the back of a t-shirt once.
on IT'S ONLY A JOB by horus8
16 Jul 2002, 1:25 AM
Really like this,
Parts of it (to me anyway) remind me of a Chilli Peppers song!
not sure about 'as charon would quote' but love the rest of it! (7)
Parts of it (to me anyway) remind me of a Chilli Peppers song!
not sure about 'as charon would quote' but love the rest of it! (7)
on some deleted poem
16 Jul 2002, 1:27 AM
One I actually think is funny! Reminds me of someone I know.
on How much? by T.Becquerel II
16 Jul 2002, 1:28 AM
What?
on thinking alike in regards to today and tomorrow by skaskowski
16 Jul 2002, 1:46 AM
I really like this poem
I think it all works really well together. The only thing i can think of is the 4 and 5th lines both end in then? maybe a change of word on one line? Love it
I think it all works really well together. The only thing i can think of is the 4 and 5th lines both end in then? maybe a change of word on one line? Love it
on Ode to Bad poetry by unknown
16 Jul 2002, 2:00 AM
Peace? maybe remove this it sounds really tacky, I didnt like it till i got to the end and it pulls it all together.
on Nicotine Ruse by Red_is_life
16 Jul 2002, 2:05 AM
I really wasnt sure about this one because my style has changed so much recently (read flies or black hole soul) and I wasnt sure what the new style comes across as. Thanx lol
on Office Worker angst by Adriaan
16 Jul 2002, 2:11 AM
A little rigid but very true captures the subject well.
on THE DEFENSE RESTS by horus8
16 Jul 2002, 2:17 AM
Do you guys at all mind if I take the thoughts back to the poem and you can resume round 2 later? Ok I really like this reads like prose but the story is really interesting I like all the bits in () which add a feeling of what exactly you think of people ion the court room. Good like it. (9)
on some deleted poem
16 Jul 2002, 2:21 AM
You always seem to come up with really interesting poems but I think sometimes you can be a little biggoted? Only an opinion but a lot of your poems are good. Can you take out the sh*t of some of them though? I dont think everyone should be so mean to you and your poems.
on Flies by Red_is_life
16 Jul 2002, 2:32 AM
I agree I do wear my heart on my sleeve and I think a lot of people find that quite hard to deal with in poems because im not scared to deal with the real emotions in life instead of the typical cliches of love and emotions. I prefer to deal with what im really thinking instead of being pretentious as some people on this site can be. Thanx for the constructive criticism I think more people on this site should be constructive instead of negative to everyone else.
on Stop it I'm Dizzy! by Lenore
16 Jul 2002, 2:35 AM
Love this. You know your subject matter and you're not afraid to say what you think. The structure really works and so does the whole thing (9)
on some deleted poem
15 Jul 2002, 2:22 AM
I really like the strong and powerful images, comparisons to the solar system works well
on Shut up and Dance by NeeMan
15 Jul 2002, 2:25 AM
Title does nothing for the poem.
on some deleted poem
15 Jul 2002, 2:54 AM
Personally I dont like it but I think the style works, is this aimed at children? The story behind it is very imaginative and clever.
on Midnight Delight (a sexual sequal) by crims0ngh0st
15 Jul 2002, 3:02 AM
Too lond and quite boring to read cut out unnecessary parts to make it more readable.