regarding some deleted poem...	27-Apr-04/10:49 AM
Not bad, a few too many commas and the elipses are not really needed. First verse is pretty good.
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Apr-04/10:54 AM
Too many big words here. Rare usage words are quite interesting if you rhyme them but it is difficult and inerrant (is that a word)/ transparent does not really work.
Re: Bare Feet, Bear Feet, a Bare Feat, and a Bear Feat by Enkidu	27-Apr-04/10:56 AM
Miss out has from the first line, it is just confusing.
Re: Pardon my lines by Bobjim	28-Apr-04/11:11 AM
You are right. What I meant to say was that asking mona lisa for head under the pseudonym Dirk Diggler was ungentlemanly. Don't do it again.
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Apr-04/11:55 AM
Love affair and inebriation. This has been done before. In fact there is a track on the Katie Melua album Call off the search (there will be no more). Lilac wine or something. Anyway what have we learnt. Yes, that the idea is stolen from Mike Batt the creative mind behing both Melua and the wombles-- Underground overground wombling free/ the wombles of wimbledon/ common are we.
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Apr-04/1:38 PM
It is very tightly packed with language and all that, but where is it going. Anywhere?
Re: There Is No Such Thing As A Poem by Aetius	30-Apr-04/1:31 PM
'There are truths bled out through ink-stained hands;' I think you are probably thinking about philosophers, poetes just write pretty words.
Re: Do You Rue Barbed Pi? by MacFrantic	1-May-04/10:25 AM
Interesting enough. The cliches are best when they fit together though. Best bits - She's driving me over the edge/ stuck in the trunk' and 'dawns on me/ sun is rising'
Re: Hurt by Cougarchic	1-May-04/10:29 AM
what do you mean by 'real'.
regarding some deleted poem...	3-May-04/12:48 PM
Pretty good all the way through, never sure about parentheses myself.
Re: Go Figure by MacFrantic	3-May-04/12:50 PM
Alright, not mad keen on the first verses, I can't work myself out sentiment. Tire should be tyre I think. Like the final verse.
Re: the beale street mud festival. by wilco	3-May-04/12:52 PM
Cute, the inversion in the second verse is a little baffling (lightly breaking the rain rather than the rain lightly breaking).
regarding some deleted poem...	3-May-04/12:55 PM
A dead bird bounce?
regarding some deleted poem...	3-May-04/12:57 PM
Might be better with a story built round 'Then He thought about the details as a trapped person might, just to see it in another light' Is my favourite part.
Re: Black Belt by etherealmaiden	3-May-04/1:01 PM
I agree with nowhereman. This poeme shouts anorexia nervosa. I get a sense of anorexogenic environment (the expectations) and an anorexic mindset (the repetition of tighten the belt and the disordered nature of the poem as it draws in all its threads).
Re: Samurai by SupremeDreamer	3-May-04/1:11 PM
Succinctly put. 'pon for a samurai though? Is he an Englishe gentleman samurai.
Re: Call of the Marine by ggawrysi	3-May-04/1:12 PM
Second and third verses are good. The enjambment of the first seems a bit forced.
Re: I Find Myself Standing by Aetius	4-May-04/11:00 AM
the linebreaks seem to make no sense.
Re: The Influence of Anxiety by Nicholas Jones	4-May-04/11:26 AM
where’s the imagery? The metaphors? There’s no similes, No use of poetic devices, no alliteration. The writer doesn’t even appear depressed or suicidal, So what the hell kind of poem is this anyway?
Re: Vodka kisses & the final sigh. by SupremeDreamer	4-May-04/2:49 PM
very good, your best vilanelle yet