Re: Beggar's Indulgence by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	17-Feb-03/12:19 PM
Perfect, again.
regarding some deleted poem...	17-Feb-03/12:25 PM
Not nearly as funny as other works of yours. May I ask who you get your inspiration from?
Re: with no words to write (v2) by nentwined	18-Feb-03/11:30 AM
Fair enough
Re: For my wife by INTRANSIT	18-Feb-03/11:31 AM
Good stuff
Re: Synchronicity (Senryu) by bunniesnangels	18-Feb-03/11:35 AM
Intriguing... a fabulous collection of haikus.
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Feb-03/11:58 AM
The bit with the carpenter is damn good. I don't personally like songs and things that make out that God is a complete fucker etc. I'm not a believer-that is, I'm a believer in something but I don't know what-but to me songs that run along the lines of 'God hates us all' just make me think of sad blokes in shorts and beards hitting guitar strings really hard and thinking they're cool. Despite that, this has some choice lines in and it isn't the sort of Slayer metal style I was just on about. Nice images in places. 8
Re: Weekend at the Taj by <~>	20-Feb-03/12:02 PM
Enjoyable, to say the least. Does a villanelle have any particular syllable structure or rhythm or anything?
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Feb-03/12:03 PM
Um, are you Settle or Dark Angel or someone completely different?
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Feb-03/12:05 PM
Glorious. 8 for humour value
Re: Moo Gai Pai lover (dedicated to Settle) by Sylvia Bravo	20-Feb-03/12:07 PM
On the plus side, you've now got two comments for your effort.
Re: The Blooding by Mr Pig	27-Feb-03/2:40 PM
Glorious. Possibly put an extra 'remember' into the last five lines just for emphasis? Although I don't know whether that would perhaps upset the balance of the poem. 8
Re: 9/11/01 by Jarah	27-Feb-03/2:48 PM
The big problem here is the subject matter. As soon as anyone on this site sees a poem about 9/11 they'll instantly laugh, mainly because most efforts to write about it have been shite. Being pedantic, I personally hate seeing "must of" or "would of" or anywhere in which 'of' is substituted for 'have'. But that's just me. I wrote a poem about 9/11 but it takes a slightly different stance. Maybe I'll submit it.
Re: The Feild In Which I Live by Fear of Garbage	27-Feb-03/2:53 PM
Wow. Image of a man with a metal pipe through his head...ouch. Why does this poem seem so damn good?
Re: The Feild In Which I Live by Fear of Garbage	27-Feb-03/2:53 PM
Love the name, by the way.
Re: On coming across a field of deer one afternoon by <~>	27-Feb-03/2:56 PM
I love most of this but I'm confused by the last line of the 4th stanza. Witness to their what? Or have I missed something. I think I'll come back to this soon. I would also be grateful if you could tell me what you think of my latest efforts.
Re: Revelation ( 666 ) by Mr Pig	1-Mar-03/3:20 AM
Nice. It's difficult to give advice on something as short as a haiku, especially when it's as good as this, so I'll limit myself to just saying "Nice".
Re: Death Of Day ( re-edit) by Mr Pig	1-Mar-03/3:28 AM
Possibly 'Silver assassin struck' for the last line, it seems to work and would take the syllables down to 17? I really like your haikus, you have much ability with images. 9
regarding some deleted poem...	1-Mar-03/3:41 AM
'I am a dark chapel'-brilliant. Does an ode have any sort of structure as regards syllables, because I think this would be better if you just changed it to a free verse and didn't worry about restricting yourself to rhymes. I must admit that first time round I thought that the subject was going to shoot themself, but I think it's a bit clearer now. Don't like the capitals. I'll vote later.
Re: Aries, the God of war by Shardik	6-Mar-03/12:29 PM
Only mistake here is 'wet' should be 'whet' I think. Otherwise very good indeed, but I would personally like a stronger image built. Still, a nice haiku. 8
Re: this old man (edit) by Bill Z Bub	9-Mar-03/12:34 PM
This is wonderful...just wonderful. 9