Re: Army Dock (Bangcock in July) (Free Curse) by Rug by <{Baba^Yaga}>	19-Jun-04/7:51 PM
Did you mean "odd" instead of "queer"in the first line? Are the piss and shit references about the Asian SARS epidemic? I think the Bangcock in the title is self explanitory. Am I right? "Asswagon's blender," Daiquiris? Help! I'm trying to understand the "walk on the wild side." Lot's of strong images -8-
Re: Navy Pier by Doug	20-Jun-04/12:27 PM
Feels like T.S. in the line about the silly laughter and in the almost "non-sequitur" feel in the lines about the skin, sweat and sun that bring it all together. Love it.
Re: Center Of The Universe by Dovina	21-Jun-04/7:53 AM
I fill with wonder.
regarding some deleted poem...	21-Jun-04/8:18 AM
Yes to all of the above and, probably, to all of the below.
regarding some deleted poem...	21-Jun-04/8:26 AM
Great but the last ten lines reworked could make it stronger. Was it a necklace or a chain, I wonder.
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Jun-04/8:19 AM
It doesn't work as a limerick because the last four lines don't scan. However, as free verse it is what it is but rhyming anus with Uranus is like rhyming cool with McCool. Were you trying for a limerick?
Re: The Sea (revised) by Dovina	22-Jun-04/8:30 AM
Good. #1 why clean clear not clean, clear? #2 why not And after that I loved the sea. Was it for form's sake? Besides, I like repulsive pink people at the beach... especially with wasabi, soy sauce and a side of ginger.
Re: Drunk and Fucked Up by wilco	22-Jun-04/8:35 AM
Resonates. last chance cigarette drunk & fucked up (two different states of being?) Yeah.
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Jun-04/8:40 AM
Nice denouement. Sad though.
Re: The Riddle of Creation by Dovina	23-Jun-04/7:22 AM
Perfect for "Seventh Day Adventist's Monthly." Not my pint of ale. Why do we capitalize the word god? It can't be a name. Isn't it an occupation? It is a little like capitalizing the word mechanic or poet. I'll stick to capitalizing only the name of god, Guinness, Jose Cuervo and the like. I know, hate the subject not the poem. -9-
Re: Sustained by Dovina	28-Jun-04/9:18 AM
Never, never, never end a poem with a word that ends in -ing. It weakens the impact. What were you thinking? Oh, gerunds, too, are words you should not be using. -10- I found the poem to my liking.
Re: Captain Napkin Starring In "The Passion Of Napkin" by horus8	29-Jun-04/9:02 AM
Cute.
Re: Revision by Dovina	29-Jun-04/9:16 AM
Sounds like a lover's quarrel with this site. In that spirit, You're telling me not showing me. Who made that reprobate Bukowski god? In line 5 try replacing dismayed with repulsed (what is the opposite of seduced?).-9-
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Jun-04/9:31 AM
"assume big joy and nothing at all" great line. A flat ball. A wet newspaper. Some broken glass. My daughter All things ruined? As the poem continues, I feel resolution approaching. The end confirms my feelings. It lit the gasoline fumes and exploded for me. I think I need a cigarette. -10-
Re: Titleist and Socrates by MacFrantic	29-Jun-04/9:51 AM
Fun to imagine as one reads, sees the threesome walking along, the caddy asking question after question while Tiger gets annoyed and Ari smiles at his old teacher's complete lack of golf etiquette.
Re: Black streets of Hackney by cpill	29-Jun-04/10:01 AM
Do you think "The Clash" was at fault? Hard to decipher.
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Jun-04/10:04 AM
I hear it saying that it's OK to be alone. -10-
Re: Lady Bradbury’s Excursion by Dovina	1-Jul-04/7:47 PM
I'm lucky. With my ruffles over my head, I stand to tinkle and make the wood donut even more dreadful on future other's hindquarters.
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Jul-04/7:22 PM
I'll always remember, the first I heard that Brando was dead was through a poem. Who needs TV? Yeah, Stella, it was time.
Re: Translation by Dovina	3-Jul-04/7:32 PM
It is very beautiful.