regarding some deleted poem...	19-Dec-02/3:15 PM
I completely agree with Cadacus, this is definately the better of the two. What would be fun is to force yourself to follow a different rhyme scheme or poem type just to force your creativity in another way.
Re: I Love You by cherish	11-Jan-03/8:13 PM
Decent work Georgia girl, some of your work reminds me on mine. Feel free to rank some of my poems.
Re: inside me by cherish	11-Jan-03/8:15 PM
Damnit.. hoping for filth also
Re: My Wonderful by ga_writer	9-Mar-04/11:21 AM
I am all about simplicity, but c'mon! Try reaching out from the ordinary rhyme scheme, and try being creative in your use of symbolism, simile, and methaphors! You dont want me to leave a vote.. keep writing, keep posting
Re: *-UNTITLED*- by ga_writer	9-Mar-04/11:24 AM
Take that same idea, that same general message.. and try and completely rewrite it. Try and make it sound more natural, dont worry so much about your rhyme. I dont think its doing you any justice.
Re: The Cessation of Fidelity by wilco	9-Mar-04/11:30 AM
Oh, how we can all say the same thing in so many ways - been there - love it!
Re: I want to sleep by butterflymist	9-Mar-04/1:33 PM
If there was a general direction in which the poem was supposed to be flowing, I could not find it. I'd like to see it rewritten in a less drousy state.
regarding some deleted poem...	14-Mar-04/5:33 PM
"Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt Still a little hard to say what's going on Still a little bit of your ghost your witness Still a little piece of your face I haven't kissed You step a little closer to me Still I can't see what's going on Stones taught me to fly Love taught me to lie Life taught me to die So it's not hard to fall When you float like a cannonball Still a little bit of your song in my ear Still a little bit of your words I long to hear You step a little closer each day So close that I can't see what's going on Stones taught me to fly Love taught me to lie Life taught me to die So it's not hard to fall When you float like a cannon Stones taught me to fly Love taught me to cry So come on courage! Teach me to be shy 'Cause it's not hard to fall And I don't want to scare her It's not hard to fall And I don't wanna lose It's not hard to grow When you know that you just don't know" Damien Rice - Cannonball great album I might add!
Re: Frenulum by BrandonW	16-Nov-05/11:15 PM
The one on the bottom of my tongue is always raw or sore the next day because it rubs against my bottom teeth so much.
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Nov-05/6:15 PM
Those cheeks never miss a cue... I like that... sounds more natural without 'the' before fear. - 5
Re: listen by elderking	30-Nov-05/6:33 PM
8 - I likes...
Re: Low by wilco	30-Nov-05/6:43 PM
Do you have any music or chords worked out for this? I put some chords to it.. and it doesnt sound bad.. - 7
Re: Virtue and Sin by dooley	30-Nov-05/8:38 PM
I'm confused.. there is "I".. and there is the girl.. there is "I" again.. then a writer, low men, a snake, and raccoon.. then back to the girl and another guy, who apparently is a knight.. then back to the damn snake..
Re: The Bus by Dovina	30-Nov-05/8:57 PM
I like the idea.. I get images of molecular hitchhikers riding a comet to earth.. then.. I don't know that I like bred, sped, bled, fed.. and.. in saying, "All the children know the ancient honored bus", are you saying that everyone has their own explanation for why we are here? Anyways, I think the last 3 are the strongest.. -7
Re: On The First Night by OneFingerAnswer	30-Nov-05/10:27 PM
Fuck.. I like it.. its sweet.. and I like it -9
Re: Thunder by dooley	1-Dec-05/3:00 PM
Can someone please explain to me why this is good?
Re: Thespian by BrandonW	5-Dec-05/9:46 PM
If the haiku form limits the story... what about 4 of them?
Re: For Gillian Park by Caducus	24-Dec-05/8:52 AM
fuckin' great if you ask me!
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Feb-07/9:24 PM
0 - For your spree of 0's on my behalf!