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*-UNTITLED*- (Free verse) by ga_writer I never had a dream in my life
Until I looked up, into your eyes
My heart had been so worn
You knew it was torn
You still took me in
For our lives to begin
Iâve never felt so safe
Until I look at your face
I know now, what I was missing
Your love, it is such a blessing
My life is now complete with you
My heart, for you, will always be true
Up the ladder:
Front Range Toll Road
Down the ladder:
Untitled
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Posted: March 9, 2004 10:29 AM PST; Last modified: March 9, 2004 10:29 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.2384057 Overall Rank: 4054 Comments:
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BrandonW @ 172.201.249.41
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9-Mar-04/11:24 AM
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Reply
Take that same idea, that same general message.. and try and completely rewrite it. Try and make it sound more natural, dont worry so much about your rhyme. I dont think its doing you any justice.
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ga_writer @ 162.40.232.108
> BrandonW
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9-Mar-04/2:29 PM
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Reply
i don't get what you're trying to say.. i don't take 12 weeks to write anything. i just write what comes to me. i guess there's always room for improvement
brandon w is right it is way to juvenile not that it sucks it is very goooooooooood but it needs to flow
i don't understand what u mean?? i'll take all the help i can get
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