replying on genious by the_poetess
9 Mar 2005, 2:09 PM
Us -truth seekers-, sometimes we run into a problem with our poetry when we want to say something and the urge to just ,um, archer?- the point overrides the tools used to create poetry. I find myself forcing obfuscation and declarification to "hide" what I'm saying and It's a Royal Paine-Diaz sometimes. Do you agree?
replying on knowledge building on knowledge by nentwined
9 Mar 2005, 2:04 PM
Just more poetry, please. Yeah, the whole portently /portentously thing has me bugged. Hot walk bugs you eh? How 'bout the lady with the chainsaw. Think she might let me use it to alter this?
on knowledge building on knowledge by nentwined
9 Mar 2005, 1:05 PM
Unless you're me in which case a stiff wind blew all my seeds out to sea and i'm just wilting now. Always good when you -ain't skeered. write more damnit.
on eat what you want. by burgerking33
9 Mar 2005, 1:02 PM
burger, fries, shake, should all be the las words in each stanza. Put THAT in your cherry pie.
replying on Poet, Earth mover by INTRANSIT
9 Mar 2005, 12:55 PM
Well guys, here's the deal. I tried to find another word altogether, but I didn't find anything I liked. I went with portentously because I went back to the dictionary and decided this was the best solution. Anything else that bugs you? Feel free to drop the hammer.
on Today, last year was on a Sunday by thepinkbunnyofdoom
8 Mar 2005, 7:30 PM
Easy day. These things usually drag on for months. Who the hell is Devilbuni?
on genious by the_poetess
8 Mar 2005, 7:23 PM
Are you a Saggitarius?
replying on Poet, Earth mover by INTRANSIT
8 Mar 2005, 7:19 PM
Well, while poets are farmer-like in some respects, I was thinking about road tractors. The Idea was spawned from a dump trucks brakes, but that seems too wordy and interrupts what little rhythm I have here.
replying on a note to the politically inactive fundamentalist christians by i_am_the_popsicle
7 Mar 2005, 1:32 PM
One name: Bono. and I aint talkin' Sonny.
on Homecoming Parade by wilco
28 Feb 2005, 6:14 AM
I like it too. another kind of parade might make me happier. unless it's supposed to carry the undertones of war. Say, any relation to the "band" wilco?
on Rough Translation (Prose) by William Alfaro
26 Feb 2005, 6:43 AM
replying on Itâs the Management by Dovina
26 Feb 2005, 6:41 AM
yes maam. gonna post a comment on alfies poem. Introduce an old poet. You might find it helpful. I still go here sometimes.
on Itâs the Management by Dovina
26 Feb 2005, 6:30 AM
G'mornin, D.
A: Heat? Heart-line 7
B: We already have a pinkfluffybunnyrabbitofdoom. no kidding.
C: You're 21. I hope you've had some life experiences by now that you can tap into. This poem is too simple.
D: Case in point, line 3 rewrite: All I see in his eyes is a reflection of myself. OR His blue m and m eyes with ms' too large to see through.
Telling vs showing. look around for an image. Read everything. Everything!!! My motorcycle pants are called barrier pants. I saw the label as I was sitting on the toilet. I may use this in apoem some time. Again, Read EVERYTHING! billboards magazines pillbottle labels. There are images and poetic symbols and stuff all over the place. We don't just think out of the box at p/r. We shredded our boxes then burned them and used the ashed to feed our Begonias. Poetry isn't just about feelings, it's about finding NEW ways to express what we feel. Be creative. Be absurd Go nuts.
B: We already have a pinkfluffybunnyrabbitofdoom. no kidding.
C: You're 21. I hope you've had some life experiences by now that you can tap into. This poem is too simple.
D: Case in point, line 3 rewrite: All I see in his eyes is a reflection of myself. OR His blue m and m eyes with ms' too large to see through.
Telling vs showing. look around for an image. Read everything. Everything!!! My motorcycle pants are called barrier pants. I saw the label as I was sitting on the toilet. I may use this in apoem some time. Again, Read EVERYTHING! billboards magazines pillbottle labels. There are images and poetic symbols and stuff all over the place. We don't just think out of the box at p/r. We shredded our boxes then burned them and used the ashed to feed our Begonias. Poetry isn't just about feelings, it's about finding NEW ways to express what we feel. Be creative. Be absurd Go nuts.
on Itâs the Management by Dovina
25 Feb 2005, 6:44 AM
Boss.
on Corner Shop, 5 Quinton Road by Caducus
25 Feb 2005, 6:41 AM
Well, you sent me to the dictionary. 3 points. I'm okay with girning and cantering, damson is a reach. 2 points. The construction is overall solid. 2 points.
The puntuation is good,somethings fishy about the opening line. Maybe a bit run on. It's also visually well balanced. 2 points. It's definitely worth "finishing".
The puntuation is good,somethings fishy about the opening line. Maybe a bit run on. It's also visually well balanced. 2 points. It's definitely worth "finishing".
replying on Jack and Jill by Dovina
23 Feb 2005, 1:29 PM
You! Frumious Bandersnatch!
Unhand that Gwynyth, Paltrow!
Socket yourself, man.
and prepare
for the Calvin and Hobbes dance.
Unhand that Gwynyth, Paltrow!
Socket yourself, man.
and prepare
for the Calvin and Hobbes dance.
The games are very limited . Ball on the end of a rope. Four squares (walls). I'll save the other words. I may need them later.;/