| regarding some deleted poem... |
18-Oct-02/4:09 PM |
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I think you could go somewhere with this, if you wanted to. On the other hand I also agree with Cristof.
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| Re: On the Swings by Christof |
18-Oct-02/4:36 PM |
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No curmudgeon could have written" Instructions to a sculpter". The only reason you have ex-girlfiends is because their glasses were dirty. Very diry indeed! Happy 29th approaching!
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
19-Oct-02/8:29 AM |
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You are quite the artist,sir I can't tell if this actually happened to you or not. That is what makes it so good, to me. 9 (you know I'm the generous sort)
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
19-Oct-02/8:32 AM |
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I waited to vote as you were still tweaking. This is much smoother. God this makes me feel hideous to be a man!8
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
19-Oct-02/9:47 AM |
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An excerpt from a piece of prose waiting to be written. Keep it and play with it, you never know....
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| Re: Fact About the Wind by Ninoy_Instigator |
19-Oct-02/9:54 AM |
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I like the way it souds like a breif time you two weree together, but how enjoyable the time was.
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| Re: Premarital Sex (Zombie Fantasy) by Sigh'ense... |
20-Oct-02/2:58 PM |
Not that I know a whole lot about poetry, my reccomendations are:
Delete "penetration" and "ejaculation" I think less is more with this work. I also think you can say the same thing and get the same result with half the material. Just my opinion. 6
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| Re: this tuesday morning by teacup |
20-Oct-02/3:04 PM |
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I like all three, but I'm a little confused about"fruit punch". How long does it take the sun to set in Oregon on I-5 in the summer?6
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| Re: nothing could by nentwined |
21-Oct-02/6:06 AM |
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Good! I was worried about you, scared you had'nt seen the light of day for months! HA! you're alive! It is a deep cyberworld indeed. Please do not let it suck the marrow from your being and leave you a hallowed keyboard stroker. 8 for your dead end:)
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| Re: Plucking hearts and banjo by horus8 |
21-Oct-02/7:34 AM |
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Jagged, endless possibilities, and WIERD to say the least. You are strange. "Everyones strange, when you're a stranger"...7 because I pulled little from it. Probably me.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
21-Oct-02/7:41 AM |
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Um, I disagree on the last stanza. It linked fantasy(I assume ) to reality and made a poignant statement. I liked it, just my thoughts.8
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
21-Oct-02/8:15 AM |
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I separated the last 2 lines aand did'n get what Zzinnia did either. I think it's ok. I see Zzinnias point though. Tell us when to vote.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
21-Oct-02/8:27 AM |
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Limerics are fun, arent they? I like anything that makes me laugh.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
21-Oct-02/8:14 PM |
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C'mon SISSY! Bring the HEAT!
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| Re: Comfort Food by jessicazee |
21-Oct-02/8:38 PM |
My dear, please do not follow this.
Lake Michigan has no teethable delights ,but can render spirit same. And leaves behind gravity monsters as well.8 Having fun?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
22-Oct-02/3:20 PM |
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I'm not scoring because you're not where we want you yet. Look up this: LANGSTON HUGHES' "Life is fine" Get back to me.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
22-Oct-02/3:41 PM |
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Sick and hilarious! Good show!
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| Re: "turd to yo mutha" daywalker shittalker by Bachus |
22-Oct-02/3:51 PM |
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Full throttle, Triple throw down, Get the hell outta my way or I'll take a bazooka to your face, SLAM-O-RAMA! Beauty.
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| Re: The Enslaver of Men by Tascobar |
22-Oct-02/4:06 PM |
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| Re: The Canvassers by Nicholas Jones |
23-Oct-02/6:12 AM |
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I can't speak as intelligently as Christof yet,but I am impressed. I will be referring to this piece for my own improvements. thanks.9
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