on some deleted poem
18 Oct 2002, 4:09 PM
I think you could go somewhere with this, if you wanted to. On the other hand I also agree with Cristof.
on On the Swings by Christof
18 Oct 2002, 4:36 PM
No curmudgeon could have written" Instructions to a sculpter". The only reason you have ex-girlfiends is because their glasses were dirty. Very diry indeed! Happy 29th approaching!
on some deleted poem
19 Oct 2002, 8:29 AM
You are quite the artist,sir I can't tell if this actually happened to you or not. That is what makes it so good, to me. 9 (you know I'm the generous sort)
on some deleted poem
19 Oct 2002, 8:32 AM
I waited to vote as you were still tweaking. This is much smoother. God this makes me feel hideous to be a man!8
on some deleted poem
19 Oct 2002, 9:47 AM
An excerpt from a piece of prose waiting to be written. Keep it and play with it, you never know....
on Fact About the Wind by Ninoy_Instigator
19 Oct 2002, 9:54 AM
I like the way it souds like a breif time you two weree together, but how enjoyable the time was.
on Premarital Sex (Zombie Fantasy) by Sigh'ense...
20 Oct 2002, 2:58 PM
Not that I know a whole lot about poetry, my reccomendations are:
Delete "penetration" and "ejaculation" I think less is more with this work. I also think you can say the same thing and get the same result with half the material. Just my opinion. 6
Delete "penetration" and "ejaculation" I think less is more with this work. I also think you can say the same thing and get the same result with half the material. Just my opinion. 6
on this tuesday morning by teacup
20 Oct 2002, 3:04 PM
I like all three, but I'm a little confused about"fruit punch". How long does it take the sun to set in Oregon on I-5 in the summer?6
on nothing could by nentwined
21 Oct 2002, 6:06 AM
Good! I was worried about you, scared you had'nt seen the light of day for months! HA! you're alive! It is a deep cyberworld indeed. Please do not let it suck the marrow from your being and leave you a hallowed keyboard stroker. 8 for your dead end:)
on Plucking hearts and banjo by horus8
21 Oct 2002, 7:34 AM
Jagged, endless possibilities, and WIERD to say the least. You are strange. "Everyones strange, when you're a stranger"...7 because I pulled little from it. Probably me.
on some deleted poem
21 Oct 2002, 7:41 AM
Um, I disagree on the last stanza. It linked fantasy(I assume ) to reality and made a poignant statement. I liked it, just my thoughts.8
on some deleted poem
21 Oct 2002, 8:15 AM
I separated the last 2 lines aand did'n get what Zzinnia did either. I think it's ok. I see Zzinnias point though. Tell us when to vote.
on some deleted poem
21 Oct 2002, 8:27 AM
Limerics are fun, arent they? I like anything that makes me laugh.
on some deleted poem
21 Oct 2002, 8:14 PM
C'mon SISSY! Bring the HEAT!
on Comfort Food by jessicazee
21 Oct 2002, 8:38 PM
My dear, please do not follow this.
Lake Michigan has no teethable delights ,but can render spirit same. And leaves behind gravity monsters as well.8 Having fun?
Lake Michigan has no teethable delights ,but can render spirit same. And leaves behind gravity monsters as well.8 Having fun?
on some deleted poem
22 Oct 2002, 3:20 PM
I'm not scoring because you're not where we want you yet. Look up this: LANGSTON HUGHES' "Life is fine" Get back to me.
on some deleted poem
22 Oct 2002, 3:41 PM
Sick and hilarious! Good show!
on "turd to yo mutha" daywalker shittalker by Bachus
22 Oct 2002, 3:51 PM
Full throttle, Triple throw down, Get the hell outta my way or I'll take a bazooka to your face, SLAM-O-RAMA! Beauty.
on The Enslaver of Men by Tascobar
22 Oct 2002, 4:06 PM
Aint it the truth.
on The Canvassers by Nicholas Jones
23 Oct 2002, 6:12 AM
I can't speak as intelligently as Christof yet,but I am impressed. I will be referring to this piece for my own improvements. thanks.9