The Canvassers

Member since 2002 · Posted 23 Oct 2002 · 6 comments

By streets where people live in council sprawl The doors go on forever and so did we, We argued out our case in public halls: 'We must convince the people to be free!' We thought of metaphysical concrete dreams And hoped for days when solid things would die We went out to the wilderness, it seemed - And knew the only option was to lie: We had to propogate a sense of hope And demonstrate to what it might just lead Our ideology is not a joke But our campaign has many, varied needs: Our opponents spend their millions to buy trust, While all that we can say is 'Vote For Us'.

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11 votes so far. Yours would make 12.11 votes so far

6 comments

[7] Christof 23-Oct-02/1:30 AM Reply

I like the sense of compromise that comes over in this. I wonder if it should be 'On streets' not 'By streets' - do you say that doors are 'by' streets? Dunno. I'm a pedant. I like the 'metaphysical concrete dreams'.

[n/a] Nicholas Jones › Christof 23-Oct-02/1:33 AM Reply

I quite like the idea of doors being by streets, but it probably should be on. By seems a better word to start a poem with, even if it doesn't quite make sense.

[9] INTRANSIT 23-Oct-02/6:12 AM Reply

I can't speak as intelligently as Christof yet,but I am impressed. I will be referring to this piece for my own improvements. thanks.9

[5] Crakyamuni 26-Dec-02/1:09 PM Reply

It's a bit stiff, but I'm feeling your vibe and I vote yes

[10] Bachus 26-Dec-02/1:35 PM Reply

i think this is definetly a winner Nick. the last stanza could of had a bit more hope? awareness is more than half of the bottle.

[n/a] Nicholas Jones › Bachus 26-Dec-02/1:42 PM Reply

Thank you for reading my poem on Boxing Day. I hope you had a very merry Christmas. As regards hope, it's not really my thing. The poem is about the attempt to fabricate hope, and the failure to do so, and so it's not really a hopeful poem at all. It's all very political. The line 'our ideology is not a joke' always seemed very clumsy to me (it's hard to read with the correct rhythm) but absolutely vital - this is about people who believe in what they do, but realise it's very, very hard.