Comments byINTRANSIT, 1561–1580 back. Include replies

on some deleted poem 14 Oct 2002, 9:33 AM
Let the rats run their race and enjoy your view from the top!
on Child of my Buttocks by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 14 Oct 2002, 4:44 PM
I have to agree, enjoyably gross! Absolute artsy fartsy shit! Hard to think I could learn from this,but.....
on Warmth Amidst Winter by loneshadow29 14 Oct 2002, 5:36 PM
I like the transition from sadness to happiness.Um, your still telling,not showing. Instead of using a season directly(winter), try being more specific. I.E. Compare your feeling of sorrow to a frozen lake. Compare your happiness to the smoldering coals of a fire not yet fully extinguished. You want your feeling to be worse (or better) than anyone elses, so exaggerate the feeling, this helps grab your audience. Did you knock a knuckle on the counter? Then make it sound as if you slammed your hand in a friggin CAR DOOR! See the diff? Keep going, you're gaining on it.6 I'm gonna make you work for it.
on some deleted poem 14 Oct 2002, 5:44 PM
Dark Angel, would you please piss all over my current haiku, god knows I need the help, thanks.8 For your twisted waffle.
on some deleted poem 15 Oct 2002, 11:46 AM
Trying to stay piqued is hard. 9
on Bowed by <~> 15 Oct 2002, 11:51 AM
Maybe some day I'll be able to graciously flow the pain of romance the way you two ladies do. Until then, I will be happy watching the pros.9
on some deleted poem 15 Oct 2002, 11:55 AM
Not to answer for Gods wife but, because some guys get pleasure from doing that very thing, sickos that they are. (you knew that didn't you)?

Gods wife, How do you extract so much pain from so few words? It's amazing!9
on some deleted poem 15 Oct 2002, 3:24 PM
Definitely well detailed. I was worried about seeming namby-pamby by posting nature poems. You give me hope.9 For your birdie wake-up call.
on some deleted poem 15 Oct 2002, 3:32 PM
OK now I'm reeally confused! It is? It isn't. Why not? Is this legal? Can I try one? Can you help me with my Haiku? Why did the chicken cross the road? Um, I think it's a cool idea though.8
on ending by Limness 16 Oct 2002, 3:50 PM
Screw the damn fortune, gimme the cookie! 9 for your gentle opening of the baked flower.
on ~*Broken Soul*~ by Katie 16 Oct 2002, 4:01 PM
Yup, works best when you do it that way.
on some deleted poem 16 Oct 2002, 6:38 PM
Go to your room young lady! 8
on The Devil Made Her Do It by Limness 16 Oct 2002, 6:44 PM
I dunno, this speaks to me of a prostitutes sadness towards her predicament...? Well written, I think.
on How I Got Laid by liljsmith87 16 Oct 2002, 6:47 PM
No, ya got it wrong. This IS a place where you kiss and tell.
Some thing works here. But it is a very large circle you're drawing with it.
on some deleted poem 16 Oct 2002, 7:47 PM
We should all listen to this piece. I think.
on Anti-Kinetic by anonymous 16 Oct 2002, 8:07 PM
Maybe I'm just warmin' up.
on Anti-Kinetic by anonymous 17 Oct 2002, 5:37 AM
Ok, I can't see any problems with this as is. I think you may be poetandknowit toying with me though. Either way I like this piece.9 if you're interested in the scoring
on On the Swings by Christof 17 Oct 2002, 5:41 AM
Swing away! If I shut up long enough, would you mentor me?
on Librarian by Tibbs 18 Oct 2002, 4:05 PM
Um, she must be aware of your presence if you can tell the color of her eyes.Also,1 down? One down her blouse maybe. Overall, very good. Not that I'm a pro or anything. 8 For your lady in uniform.