on Malaysia by Crakyamuni
11 Jan 2004, 7:16 AM
The only thing I'd change is belly button. too silly for a serious piece. And generally speaking, hacks have no idea what assonance and alliteration are. Now tuck, Nip.
on A feast for a king by fair12
11 Jan 2004, 7:23 AM
"crying their history in the orbs of my eyes" Orbs bugs me. It's like saying the eyes of my eyes. Easy fix.
on Da Ghetto by <{Baba^Yaga}>
11 Jan 2004, 12:09 PM
Yes. I feel better already.
on some deleted poem
11 Jan 2004, 1:03 PM
Out of 02 stuff? Good time to get bold would be my guess. as if my freight train could be considered bold. ha!
This looks like villanelle material to me.
How about a self censored (pose)-the frozen mouse.
I mess with legos. I decided to make a forward-engined spacecraft. I had never seen one, excepting the pod-racers of course. I'm rather happy I decided to go "wierd".
This looks like villanelle material to me.
How about a self censored (pose)-the frozen mouse.
I mess with legos. I decided to make a forward-engined spacecraft. I had never seen one, excepting the pod-racers of course. I'm rather happy I decided to go "wierd".
on A dream of a fruit-gun by zodiac
11 Jan 2004, 2:36 PM
I wrote about a train.
on Mermaid by lastobelus
11 Jan 2004, 2:48 PM
People like you and middenHeap show up, and I feel flat out stepped on. *races toward liquor cabinet*
on Cherry Blossoms (anti-haiku) by middenHeap
11 Jan 2004, 2:49 PM
This is not your average sunday night on the 'ranker.
on A dream of a fruit-gun by zodiac
11 Jan 2004, 6:52 PM
Get the hell outta here Zodiac! No. Nevermind. I'll show myself the door. Thank you.
on Panda meat by horus8
12 Jan 2004, 5:53 PM
see? SEE? I'M HARMLESS COMPARED TO THAT GUY!!!! I ONLY HAUL CARS!!! ONLY 10 AT A TIME TOO!! THEY'RE NOT NEAR AS BAD AS THAT SCENARIO IS! YEAH!!
harmless, I say.
harmless, I say.
on American Eden v.2 [revised] by SupremeDreamer
12 Jan 2004, 5:57 PM
Definitely a wee bit-o-passion in this one.
on Spunkorpumpernipple by Shardik
12 Jan 2004, 6:10 PM
onewordwonderwoman.
on some deleted poem
14 Jan 2004, 10:07 AM
pure science indeed. miss you, btw.
on some deleted poem
14 Jan 2004, 10:11 AM
Suspicion of who's making money on said plant and admiring the beauty of plant through the window of a greenhouse.
on some deleted poem
14 Jan 2004, 6:43 PM
bean? seems a little humorous for this. intended?
on The woods house by zodiac
15 Jan 2004, 5:51 AM
smokin' good. I don't think you need breaks at all. Look up poetandknowit and compare. Unless you are he.
on Skull Soup v.2 by SupremeDreamer
15 Jan 2004, 5:58 AM
I like the title. why is the say nothing in quotes? Has it been said before? damn. that's a really good direction to take this poem. sprinkling it with the poetic theory. love the closure.
'nuff said?