regarding some deleted poem...	15-Jan-04/6:26 AM
two buts-disrupt the flow. I hate this because I'm a bit of a traditionalist,yet it works. Hmmm.
Re: O Endless Angst, Thou Stingeth Me by Goad	15-Jan-04/6:32 AM
Your cloaking device is failing.
Re: Skull Soup v.2 by SupremeDreamer	15-Jan-04/6:37 AM
Not quite. intermix the theory with the cooking. Make it SLOPPY! It's too neat. We can see what's in the soup. Make us taste it. I know. It's painful to break it up and start over sort of. I can show you one of mine where My metaphor was so good I had to extend it and the poem morphed into something better. if you want.
Re: Skull Soup v.2 by SupremeDreamer	15-Jan-04/6:39 AM
Skull soup is fine title-wise.
Re: Skull Soup v.2 by SupremeDreamer	15-Jan-04/9:46 AM
Definitely better. I'd still mix it a bit more. Compare: Middleman to Lunge-fish. Middleman was first. Sorry to leave you hangin'. I'm trying a financial hail-mary move right now. It's fly or die time.
regarding some deleted poem...	15-Jan-04/9:57 AM
"of those gone before" I don't think you need that. (cause)moose horns to blow. drop the cause. lay claim to (me) why just encompass one part of yourself? These are my suggestions. Do as you will
Re: Cross Pollination by Jeremi B. Handrinos	15-Jan-04/12:40 PM
And WHOOOMP!!!! There it is. the baby, off course.
regarding some deleted poem...	15-Jan-04/12:43 PM
Kale? Parsley? Lemon peel? What is a proper garnish for such an event? Prawn skin?
Re: Gone Away by ez2replace	15-Jan-04/12:47 PM
Life can only get better in the future, but lives in misery. Hmmm. I'll get back to you.
Re: Chodeling on my knees by Shardik	15-Jan-04/1:15 PM
You're the only one I can tolerate this kind of stuff from. Poetry, that is. Is it? bivalve and arthroscopic made me peanut butter and jelly my keyboard.
regarding some deleted poem...	15-Jan-04/2:22 PM
Other than the bumps, I loooove eeeeet!
Re: Skull Soup v.2 by SupremeDreamer	16-Jan-04/6:17 AM
Whatever you do, don't throw it out. There is a poem in there. put it on the "back burner" for a while.
Re: A friendly conversation with a Native American by somemorepoetry	16-Jan-04/6:35 AM
Somehow I see the need for the length, yet feel it could lose alittle weight. I'm just not sure where. You could Haiku the closer and eliminate the rest, saying the same thing. I do like it as is though.
Re: HALF by imperfect_creation	16-Jan-04/6:37 AM
the backwards letters are pointless. fix the spelling.
Re: EXIT (this way) by imperfect_creation	16-Jan-04/6:50 AM
You're finding your ears. Repeating the sounds of vowels is called assonance. Repeating the sounds of consonants is called alliteration. There's no problem with taking a rap-style approach to poetry, I would still recommend studying (proper) poetry. It will help you say what you are intending to. Like I recommend to many others, get a copy of: Poetry for dummies. I have one. It's easy to understand and a great basic tool.
Re: Sci-fi ode to poemranker nicknames by zodiac	23-Jan-04/1:21 PM
the harem smell of disinterest- perfect! Full load!
Re: His Master's Jodhpurs by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	23-Jan-04/1:36 PM
of course.
regarding some deleted poem...	23-Jan-04/1:38 PM
less telling -more showing!!!!
Re: At The Station by Christof	23-Jan-04/1:41 PM
Nice to see a fresh post from you!!!!!
Re: The Ultimate Survivor by Joe-joe	4-Mar-04/7:18 AM
You chose eddie for a subconcious reason. I saw a baby in the womb when I read this. (An) eddie being a swirling pool of water makes for an ideal name in this piece. Very good.