| Re: a comment on No-Strings by sca |
17-Jun-07/1:39 AM |
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damnit was originally in the first line, moved it on recomendation. and yeah, I don't like the third all that much either, but it was written about a real person, and at the time it made sense... to me, haha.
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| Re: turd cutter by Count Flatula |
9-Jun-07/1:52 AM |
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you know, the content isn't why I'm giving this a 0, because I actually find feminism provoking bits and pieces amusing. I'm giving this a 0 because you could've done something better. the meter's out and the rhyme happens once. put some time into it.
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| Re: Persnickety by malpaso |
9-Jun-07/12:42 AM |
I think this could be expanded on, lines changes and lengthened, others added. Fatten up the story if you will - the story's clear but the details aren't.
=> Jess
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| Re: Jesus by Sing4Jesus! |
9-Jun-07/12:19 AM |
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I like your poetry. Why are you listed so lowly?
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| Re: A Flower for Monet by Shuushin |
9-Jun-07/12:15 AM |
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Very, very nice. This tipped off my tongue beautifully, and the language/wording is excellent. It's classy in the beautiful sense.
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| Re: a comment on A Flower for Monet by Shuushin |
9-Jun-07/12:14 AM |
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although correctly, not neccessarily the same flower, probably more to do with his capture of light (aka moments)
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| Re: a comment on A Flower for Monet by Shuushin |
9-Jun-07/12:13 AM |
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| Re: May Monday Explanation by MacFrantic |
9-Jun-07/12:03 AM |
I like the first four lines, but after that it's like the meter/syllables/what-ever-poetry-nuts-call-it completely changes... I mean, the meaning works, really well, but that sudden drop between moment and erode just doesn't sit right as I read it.
=> Jess
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| Re: Humpty Dumpty's Regrettable Fate by MacFrantic |
7-Jun-07/1:17 AM |
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Hahaha... very entertaining much. Where did you pull this prom?
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| Re: Johnny Neurotic by Enkidu |
7-Jun-07/1:15 AM |
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I like this one a little better. Twas worth the read in thought alone. So many media references... I had to think it back twice to remember some of it, lol.
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| Re: One O Five in the A.M. by Enkidu |
7-Jun-07/1:13 AM |
What the random?
You're not drunk or spaced, because the typing's coherent... but maybe it's transcipt of the post previously poorly written.
Either way, a little more spastic fantastic than poetry.
=> Jess
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| Re: 0 by MacFrantic |
7-Jun-07/12:59 AM |
Great minds think alike, eh?
I like.
Very, very much. So very clever, so very few words. I'm not going to check if it's bonified haiku or not (as form and strucure aren't a biggie in my books), but it's great.
Oh god, oh snap,
=> Jess
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| Re: The Red Chain by MacFrantic |
7-Jun-07/12:57 AM |
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I don't understand the first line, and I'm not one for poetry that's so rephrased and rearanged it's fragmented, so this doesn't rate all that highly with me.
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| Re: Shuushin the multi-personality total cunt by mr cunt |
6-Jun-07/11:05 PM |
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Haha, I could give you points for laughs. But I'm not going to. (and usually I hate poetry Nazis).
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| Re: Stripes by JMakStak |
6-Jun-07/9:13 PM |
I love the rhythm and how the words just kinda weave in and out of each other. I like the edgy language, and how the rhyme isn't too obvious.
It's great. Sexy in the other sense.
=> Jess
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| Re: a comment on No-Strings by sca |
6-Jun-07/5:21 AM |
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PS - I'm the sometimes resonable but often blunt one.
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| Re: a comment on No-Strings by sca |
6-Jun-07/5:21 AM |
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Yeah, there are some twats on the site. And their prudish tendencies aren't limited to poetry. You probably didn't make it to the forums but they're all either homphobic or incessantly, emospastically self obsessed and/or depressive.
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| Re: The North Wind by Ranger |
6-Jun-07/5:15 AM |
There are all this tricky rhyme schemes in the world, but I reckon it's nice to see it taken back to basics once in a while. One on one, obvious yet not obtrusive. Lyrics or not.
I'd've written Said in the fifth line with a '. 'Said, short for I said. But I can be the queen of ideomaticity and colloquealist english. So I'd caution you against my advice.
But yes, I'd say if we polled it here and now missed 'I love you's would be the chief regret.
=> Jess
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| Re: a comment on No-Strings by sca |
6-Jun-07/5:08 AM |
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Yeah, I've been on there since about 2003. Youngest of the oldtimers... but I'm crawling out of my shell. haha... just isn't like back in the day.
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| Re: a comment on No-Strings by sca |
6-Jun-07/5:04 AM |
I have to admit I like it too. I've been posting my poems in the order I've written them, and lately that's been for contests with weird and obscure guidelines (form, wordbanks, what-have you)... so I took it back a bit.
and I think I will put the damn it on it's own.
=> Jess
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