| Re: FISH by annadoc |
28-Apr-06/4:18 PM |
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Thought I'd write a cinquain. Shouldn'ta posted, but I did. Why the venom (seething out)?
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| Re: A Taste of Rose by Richard |
27-Apr-06/4:54 PM |
I liked it, but there are a few lines I think could be stronger -- "too bad, but I think low tide has come"
"as this life is sadly tasteless" "Peace maybe forever this time: and I agree the topic has been done (one too many times)
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| Re: Goldmunds Slut Fiasco v.2 [Revised] by Y2kSlamPoet |
25-Apr-06/4:51 PM |
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u h h h h h h h h h h h h h
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| Re: I Sleep by Sunny |
25-Apr-06/4:45 PM |
I didn't really understand the poem
I "dissever" from reality (severed)??
discriminate from sin?
ramify from heavy flesh?
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| Re: 99% of the Time by TLRufener |
25-Apr-06/4:38 PM |
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I really liked this poem. It reminds me of the fact that sometimes "I" can't think of all the things I "want" to stay and this was expressed so well.
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| Re: a comment on Sun's color by annadoc |
21-Apr-06/5:11 PM |
Thank you for giving me food for thought. I use to love the streaming sunlight (when I was young) coming in the window.
I would think about changing title to Sun (Play)?
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| Re: Im different so what? by xblackstarsx |
20-Apr-06/5:36 PM |
looks like typos intentional. Childish (meant to be?)
I'll stop "now" - instead of no?
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| Re: a comment on Lost and Found by annadoc |
20-Apr-06/5:34 PM |
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I made some slight edits, but don't know if improved (or lessened). The piece is contradictory & confused - as the opposites trying to show we are both things, accept us as that, can we still feel inclusion (even though we are so different)-unsure if I communicated that sufficiently.
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| Re: Sarah's Song by wilco |
19-Apr-06/2:33 PM |
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Contemplative. I liked it.
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| Re: A Kiss Beneath The Blossom Tree by Caducus |
19-Apr-06/2:29 PM |
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I thought the imagery was very good. I also noted the small edits needed such as (comma after again, before words "my love"), the blossom(s) fell like soft rain, and mis-spelled word incense. I thought this was one of the best poems I've read here.
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| Re: Misplaced Life by Richard |
19-Apr-06/2:20 PM |
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I thought this poem had some depth to the verse. gave me pause.
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| Re: a comment on Story remains the same by annadoc |
19-Apr-06/2:16 PM |
thank you for the thoughts...what I truly need to improve ... and I've been reading others and have to compose my thoughts on those and give my feed back... and I feel I can get some useful inspiration --
I also thought this was a cliche (myself).
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