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Story remains the same

Member since 2006 · Posted 18 Apr 2006 · 2 comments

Though the language varies, our stories are the same we all possess emotions, devotions our laughs, our cries, our loves, our lies; grandness of life itself we express differently the language varies though our stories remain the same the sum of all our parts that which lies within our hearts

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2 comments

[7] Ranger 18-Apr-06/3:07 PM Reply

Nice ideas. I think it deserves to be longer, simply because it rests on cliched lines (stories remaining the same, sum of all parts etc.) which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but in its current form it's just a collection of lines which have been said many times before. Yet I can tell there's more intricate thought behind this. Give some feedback to other users' poetry and hopefully they'll reciprocate and give you some useful inspiration.

[n/a] annadoc › Ranger 19-Apr-06/2:16 PM Reply

thank you for the thoughts...what I truly need to improve ... and I've been reading others and have to compose my thoughts on those and give my feed back... and I feel I can get some useful inspiration --

I also thought this was a cliche (myself).