| Re: Structure of a Woman by al-naafiysh |
9-Jul-07/10:12 AM |
"Nothing is more deceitful," said Darcy, "than the appearance of humility. It is often only carelessness of opinion, and sometimes an indirect boast."
In your case, I'd say it's the indirect boast. But that aside, Womens always fancy themselves as "complex" creatures. The reality, I'm afraid, is heavily laden with shame: http://tinyurl.com/2bxrqo
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| Re: Day Dream by Jessina |
9-Dec-07/5:35 AM |
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This is an excellent poeme. Unfortunately it makes me think that you don't really appreciate the true meaning of Christmas. You think it's all about getting presents, but it's not.
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| Re: Home coming of her love by Jessina |
9-Dec-07/5:39 AM |
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"Sighing profoundly she saunter" is a very haunting line to open with. Is that what you were aiming for?
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| Re: Whore of Babylon by oneglove |
9-Dec-07/5:43 AM |
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Is this communist talk!? Get it off this site or I'll call the police.
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| Re: Return from Dubious Mission by Dovina |
9-Dec-07/5:49 AM |
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Garbled nonsense. Throw it in the bin.
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| Re: Voice of the World by Dovina |
15-Jan-08/4:00 PM |
I think Kipling said it best:
Take up the White Man's burdenâ
The savage wars of peaceâ
Fill full the mouth of Famine,
And bid the sickness cease;
And when your goal is nearest
(The end for others sought)
Watch sloth and heathen folly
Bring all your hope to nought.
That is why I shan't be donating.
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| Re: Spectrum Of Passion by Mickey Pig Knuckles |
15-Jan-08/4:07 PM |
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Thank you so much for sharing your gift of literature. This is one of the excellentest poemes I have read today and it doesn't matter that it doesn't rhyme because not all poemes have to rhyme you idiot.
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| Re: Unemployed by OneFingerAnswer |
15-Jan-08/4:46 PM |
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Couldn't He have just gone round to someone's house and cleaned up?
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| Re: Him by hobojo |
23-Jan-08/11:15 AM |
An aged wipe is but a paltry thing,
A tattered rag upon a stick, unless
Buttocks sally forth and cling, and bravely cling
To every blemmish on its scrunched up mess,
Nor is there parping school but studying
Monuments of its own brownificence;
And therefore I have sailed the seas and come
To the holy city of Brownium.
From "Sailing to Brownium" by William Butler Yeats
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| Re: Delicate hearts grow thick skins. by Nepanthe |
22-Feb-08/7:37 PM |
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Reads like the ramblings of a toothless simpleton. Are you semi-literate, or what? Self-referential poemes are exceedingly bow'ls. But this is not. This is bum-crushingly stupid. For that you should be proud.
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| Re: plea bargain by malpaso |
22-Feb-08/7:41 PM |
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Quality. I love the line breaks before and after "see nothing deep". How on Earth did you come up with that? Pure instinct I guess...
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| Re: Trust by hobojo |
22-Feb-08/7:55 PM |
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This is exemplary of your talent.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
4-May-08/2:29 AM |
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| Re: Whispers among me by celticskatermatt1 |
16-Sep-08/3:15 PM |
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How did you come up with the idea of putting a line break between "arm stills" and "Past aggressions"? Did you think: if I don't put a line break soon, the line will end up being longer than the other lines, and then my "poem" won't look like a poem at all. Hmm?
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| Re: Ally McBeal by Pie |
16-Sep-08/3:17 PM |
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AIDS is not suitable subject matter for poetry: I don't know about everyone else, but I want you off this site.
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| Re: The Answer (dating over 40ish) by Bethy |
16-Sep-08/3:24 PM |
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Your use of the word "snatch" lowered the tone rather shockingly... but I do sympathise. Unlike women, men get more attractive as they get older. They become grizzled, bearded warriors with large, masculine bellies which they use to store reserves of nutrients in case there's a war. In fact, the optimum age for a man is whatever age Sean Connery is now. Women reach their peak at 19.
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| Re: Suicide Note [Disposal Instructions Included] by SupremeDreamer |
16-Sep-08/3:28 PM |
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| Re: SWF seeks SWM by Bethy |
16-Sep-08/3:36 PM |
It always amuses me when, in between thinking about shoes, women sometimes find time to write poetry.
Does the W stand for White? If so, isn't that racist?
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| Re: Wind By Any Other Name by Edna Sweetlove |
31-Jan-13/3:31 PM |
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Preposterously self-absorbed.
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| Re: alcohol is home. by SupremeDreamer |
19-Jun-18/4:55 PM |
A profoundly silly piece. I can't be bothered to dig up the original Checkliste, but this bulgingly stupid offering certainly ticks a few dunce-boxes:
[X] Arbitrary line breaks
[X] Clerical errors
[X] Cliched imagery (gazing out of window, pits of despair)
[X] 'Depression' words (putrid, wretched, darkness)
[X] Devoid of alliteration or any such linguistic embellishments
[X] Devoid of rhyme
[X] Devoid of simile, reification or any such literary devices
[X] Devoid of wondrous or fantastical imagery
[X] Drug reference
[X] Melodramatic
[X] Overabundance of ellipses
[X] Pointedly unanswered questions
[X] Self-obsessed
-10-
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