| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
Unemployed (Villanelle) by OneFingerAnswer He shaved off his facial hair
He got his mop cut
He went to the job fair
His face is raw and bare
He hated it but
He shaved off his faical hair
She picked out what he should wear
God, he looked ready to putt
He went to the the job fair
He gave up time he couldn't spare
He busted his butt
He shaved off his facial hair
Nothing came to him there
Nothing got him out of his rut
He went to the job fair
No one had a job to share
He cheepened himself like a slut
He shaved off his facial hair
He went to the job fair
Up the ladder:
Savior Self
Down the ladder:
Bloody Night
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Posted: March 31, 2003 1:51 PM PST; Last modified: March 31, 2003 1:51 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.0 Overall Rank: 7520 Comments:
[5]
maffy @ 62.105.88.10
|
1-Apr-03/4:13 AM
|
Reply
NOT BAD!
Too much 'He'
"He" is the subject of the poem. Of course "He" is going to show up. Not to mention that the point of a vilanelle is repetition.
Sounds like me.. Im feeling it,,
Couldn't He have just gone round to someone's house and cleaned up?
268 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
